help me please!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by angelino69, Oct 23, 2010.

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  1. angelino69

    angelino69 New Member

    i'm franck , i'm french and after braking with my grilfriend i spent tree year with i feel like killing myself

    i thougt about xxxx yesterday and the more i try to forget it the more i think about it and that it's the solution to release all the pain that's ruining me from inside.

    i don't know what to do i'm thinking about my mom who would be so ruined if i do such a thing but its the last thing that hold me from doin it! as i face nothing good anymore in my life and my girlfriend behave like such a mean person to me, ignore me and i don't apreciate anything that happens to me

    i decided that i should find a solution otherwize i don't want to keep on like that
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2010
  2. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    Okay Franck! Quick stop thinking everything about your girlfriend. NOW!!!

    She was sure a good girl but that was that and you must look what's now, the sun is still beautiful in your country ( land of love! ) and I'm jealous.

    Have myself to blame of feeling the way and I can confess everyone I am still trying, but, I am alive and dont :anony: go hangs myself. Though the loves burns left the relations not.

    Remember NO person is worth making your like shit and death!
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Franck and sorry you are feeling so is so difficult to loose a romantic hurts so much, especially after investing so much into it...tell us more about yourself...what do you like to do? what are you feeling? thanks for sharing and welcome again, J
  4. dartofabaris

    dartofabaris Well-Known Member

    call your friends m8, hang out with them, pre occupy your mind with somethings long enough till you start seeing things clearly again. I know its the worst just after the break up, and after three years i know that you had built most of your world and future around her. Hey, it seems that you had a good thing going which came to an end; but why cant you have the same once more? if there is any reason impeding you then talk about it,

    I agree with LillMy8989, no other person should be able take away your core reason to live.

    Pm me or anyone else, Im new here but the guys n girls here seem to talk to you like old friends almost immediately.
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    breaking up can be really tough.

    there is some good that can come out of it though.

    I think that if you become really dependent on a relationship, it puts pressure on that relationship and makes it more likely to fail.

    If you can get to a place where you don't need to be in a relationship in order to get by, then you are more likely to be able to have a good relationship that lasts.

    If you can get some therapy and be able to handle being on your own for a while, I bet that you could find someone that you would like even better than your old girlfriend. And then you would have a reason to be glad that you broke up with the old girlfriend.

    in any case, I hope that you feel better and that things work out soon
  6. angelino69

    angelino69 New Member

    Well thank u so much for talking to me , i'm so lost and i swear to god i try to do things i went out the whole day because it is the french "week for science"
    and i'm highly interested in science as in a bachelor in engineering.

    The main problem with my relation now is that it is blocked as she's gone to china for an exchange semester and she's going to come back to our flat at least to get her stuffs , i don't know what is going to happen, i don't know and i'm so mad at myself to be loving her so much. i can't go on and thinks that things are going to be ok, cause she's comming back to france and i'll have to see her and maybe she 's going to try to take time with me and comme back ! i don't know! the things is that the way she behaves with a person she spent 3 year with is unsane! she doesn't want to talk , she's worried about me i know it cause she called while her friends told her she saw me and she was worried about my behavior!

    what 's so hard trough this is that one month ago she wanted to get engaged with me, she was in love and know she treating me like a shit and ruining me ! i try not to call her, not to cry not to make dramas but it's something i can't help , something stronger than me such as the feeling i have to end up with my life. The only thing that hold me from doing it is my mom ! i know she suffered a lot in her life and i mean the whole world to her and don't want to be so egoistic and ruin her life...
    i love my mom, i love my girlfriend and i find no solution!!!
    i'm so scared that she would come back to our flat and not even take time to be with me and share what she feels with me ! it is so easy to say to forget her but i'm not sure that's what see wants and after trying for 2 weeks i don't manage.i came to see a doctor today and he gave me pills so i could sleep as i didn't sleep more than 8 hours last week and i fainted in class.

    i wish i could just talk to her and understand, i'm a rational person and i only understand rational things, the way she behaves is not and as i can't do anything ( apparently ) it turned me from sadness to Despair .

    i tell my friends that i dont want to ruin my life for an egoistic person but i don't even believe it myself i'm sure she's different that what she shows me now i spent 3 years with her, and it is such a violent thing in my face suddently and i wish i could just get give it up but i love her and something is binding me to her, like telling me that something is not clear in it.

    I think that i won't stand myself untill she come back and we could have a conversation. I'm really disgusted by myself , i though i was a strong person, i though nothing could get me down but i was wrong.

    I can't imagine my life without her, she brought me so much hopes, and she's taking them back, and ignoring me.I 'm scared of beeing alone at night cause its when i start thinking about killig myself i don't have the right to do that.

    I just want a chance to take time with her and understand her, but i'm scared it won't maybe happened and it would be so much heasier to disapear
    and not to face all this, i'm tired of my life, tired of fighting as i fought my whole youth to get a chance to succed in anything ( i come from a very bad french ghetto) and even the though of all i built and all it costed is not giving me any strenght anymore, she was giving me.... and she's ignoring me...

    thank you for talking seriously i don't manage to talk to my friends cause i feel so useless and so stupid.
    thank u all
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    it could be that if you have problems of self esteem or dependency, that has been part of why she wants to separate from you. It would be great if you could save your relationship, but it looks like that's not possible now. Maybe later you can at least be on good terms with her if you can get to a more balanced place.

    It could be that the best thing for both of you is to be apart. That may be really hard to see right now, but it could be so.

    It seems like the question now is, what can you do to deal with the pain of loosing her and not do anything to harm yourself?

    You may want to consider withdrawing for the semester, maybe there is a special medical withdrawl or incomplete. Trying to handle a full courseload while suicidal seems like it is too much.

    Is there a councilor at the school that you can see? I think that talking to a councilor right away would be a good idea. You may also want to go into the hospital if you think that you might harm yourself.

    Did you tell the doctor that you were suicidal? Maybe you can go back and get some antidepressants.

    Getting some hugs and having someone listen to you in person would probably help. Maybe your mom could do that for you?

    You are right in thinking it would be a disaster for your mom if you killed yourself. Especially when you say that she cares so much for you.
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