help me please

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Dan.y, Feb 25, 2011.

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  1. Dan.y

    Dan.y Member

    Hi! I signed up on the forum hoping that you can help me. Here is my life:
    I am 16 and i just sit in my room all day doing nothing. I can't go out because i don't really have any friends in my city, all the friends i have are in my grandparents's city where i spend my holidays. I never had a girlfriend, that hurts the most, i never even kissed a girl except this new year party but obviously she was drunk. There was one girl that i liked, and she liked me too but i couldn't even say a word in front of her, i am not really good at talking, so we just kept texting and that is it, she realised what an idiot i am. I've been thinking about suicide for about two years, i can't stand being alone anymore, i just want to meet someone like me, preferably a girl, someone i can go out and do everything with. I want to live my life, to do crazy things like getting on a train and going allover the country, but alone i can't do anything and i can't stand it anymore.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi good to see you posting here reaching out for support. Can you talk to your regular doctor and see if you can get some therapy to help you not be so shy so insecure with you. Therapy can help You are 16 plenty of time to meet someone The way to make friends is to join a group or activitiy you enjoy and meet people there with the same interest as you. Art classes music theatre sports church groups all good places to meet new friends. Once you hit college you will meet all kinds of new people there as well. Talk to you doctor okay and see what kind therapy you can get so you can be more outgoing. I have a friend that travels all over the world by himself and he enjoys meeting new people on his travels When your older you can travel on your own and with other people as well hugs to you ever need to talk just pm me or others here Lots of posters your age here so get to know them as well okay hugs:hugtackles:
     
  3. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    That train ride sounds interesting, what places would you like to see?
     
  4. Dan.y

    Dan.y Member

    @doityourself I don't know, it doesn't matter as long as i don't have anyone to go with.

    @total_eclipse I don't fancy the idea of therapy, the therapist it's just someone to talk to and i am not going to pay for that. I live in a shitty country anyway, i don't have a lot of money and i don't think there are any good therapists in my area. I don't know any groups that i could join, but even if i do join a group, i will probably just seat in a corner and look at other people, i can't just go and introduce myself, it seems stupid.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    even if you can talk to a church person they are councillors and no need to pay them talking believe it or not does help alot. so if you can talk to a school councilor a church person anyone but talk okay Let out all those thoughts and emotions here too because releasing them i find helps as well. There are people who care and need a friend as well Next time you see someone sitting alone go up and talk to them hugs the only way to change is to do things differently right hugs
     
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Maybe you dont need anyone to go with you, or you would meet someone on your trip, never forget the possiblities of life, what it gives you, what you can get for yourself.

    Give yourself a break, the depression and maybe the social anxiety may have taken over but that doesnt mean you cant take control back and learn to live a good life, maybe not the one you thought you would have but one that you will enjoy if you give yourself a chance.

    Dont give up, coming here and opening up is a huge step, it was a good one and I hope that you keep posting and let SF help you, or at the most you can vent and get some of it out.

    Hope tomorrow is better than today.
     
  7. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Oh and if I could go on that train ride the first place for me would be to arizona, to see and hike those red mountains, or Florida which is my home state that I miss so very much, to sit on a beach and listen to the waves.
     
  8. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I've always wanted to see Scandinavia, particularly Finland. And you know, truthfully, I wouldn't care if I had to go alone. The beauty would be so overwhelming, that witnessing it on my own would be satisfying enough. Maybe you can think of a place like that, too. And then company won't be as imperative.

    Regardless, you're only 16...I know you probably get told this often, but it really is true. I wanted so badly to find someone I would spend the rest of my life with at 14 and 15, and it only contributed to making me even more fucked up because teenage relationships rarely ever work out. You get your heart broken and you learn to despise people...that's all that really comes out of it. There's no sense in focusing on relationships right now. Wait til you're in your 20s and I guarantee you'll be much more successful in finding happiness in that area. For now, focus on school and surround yourself with friends and things to do.

    Plentyoffish.com
    &
    Okcupid.com

    ^ Two sites you can go to to meet people in your area. They're supposed to be dating sites, but you can meet friends on there too, many people do. I have social anxiety disorder and those two sites were my only way of meeting people, and it was how I met my fiance, and pretty much every boyfriend before him. Oh, and by the way, they're completely free. :)
     
  9. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    totally agree!!!!
     
  10. Dan.y

    Dan.y Member

    I can't even find someone to spend week of my life with, if i go on like this i have great chances to end up worse than the 40yo virgin and i'm not going to! I'll either find someone and continue living my live or I'll kill myself, i'm already dead anyway, it doesn't matter that much to me.

    And please leave visiting places out of the conversation because i am not going anywhere on my own.
     
  11. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    If your making those plans anyway, if youve already set your future, why not give a doc a try, maybe he would be able to help with the social anxiety, sounds like youve already given up, and if you dont change those thoughts then nothing else will change either.

    Hugs.
     
  12. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    She's right. You're making a big mistake by being fixated on finding a relationship. I know you think you know what's best for you right now, but you don't. You need help. Something to take away those intense feelings of loneliness, and more so, figure out where they came from. A good way to do that would be to ask a doctor for advice. But if you continue to walk the path you're on right now, you're going to destroy your life. I was you at one point, and my life hangs by a string now every day because of what I've put myself through by feeding my emotions at that time. And not only that, I've developed a pattern of ALWAYS feeding my emotions in adulthood as well. They control me now because I'd always give into them in the past. Is that what you want?
     
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