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help me :'( please

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#1
So i've been depressed since april... and then, i met a guy. We got romantically inloved. I thinked that i liked him as a friend... but he was saying how much he loves me. One week ago he went on holidays. God i missed him so much... he came back. He was saying to me how much he loves me, and yesterday we were making plans for the weekend.
And now... today. He left me. He told me that i am to depressed, that i make him depressed, that he wants me as a friend. That he met a girl on holidays who makes him smile...
Fuck i can't even type.
It ripped my heart out of my body and grinded it. I cry and cry, i vomited twice... i don't want to live without him.
I lost all my dreams, everything that i had... everything.
I don't want to live without him.... i'm broken :(.
I think that this may be my last day... i can't live witouth him. I love him. I still cry, i feel so sick... i cant do this anymore.
 

marklondon

Well-Known Member
#2
I know it's hard to believe when you're in love with someone, but you are probably better off without him. Real love is not about just sticking with someone when things are easy--it's about helping each other through thick and thin. Usually, when people are madly in love with each other, for the first couple of years of a relationship, this is easy -- and if he's not willing to stand by you and support you even at this early stage, then it probably means he wouldn't be very good for you later.

Take it from me. I learnt the hard way that some people just aren't worth it. After 6 amazing years with my ex, I went through a bad patch for 2 years, and instead of trying to fix our relationship or trusting that things could be OK again, she simply went off with someone else, who was easier.

It's not worth wasting even a week on someone like that, let alone a lifetime. There are plenty of people out there with a better, more loyal heart--and you will definitely find one who is much more worthy of your love.
 

Exoh

New Member
#4
That's terrible. I completely understand what you're going through. Unfortunately, I have no advice to offer, as i'm pretty much in the same boat.​
 

roscho

Well-Known Member
#5
Have you been able to determine why you were depressed before you met him? It sounded like all was well after you met him, but one of the things you said he said when leaving was that you were too depressed.

I'm severely depressed right now, and I know my spouse doesn't want me around, so I know our depression gets shared, but they can just reach a point where they can just shut us out and it solves their issue but our problem lives with us.

I'm going to try to fix my depression, and then try and rebuild my life around a better me instead of continuing to try to build a better life around a broken me. That's proven not to last very long.
 

LoveBeing

Well-Known Member
#6
You are only 17. You deserve a lot more time to explore life and figure things out…

As you said in another post:

...
I have everything. Family (my mom has some problems with depression, but she is great and loving, she is the sun in my life, the best person that i know...My dad drinks too much (in my opinion). I noticed it. But he hides it well. He always talks with me, he gives me tons of money... just to stay shure i have everything. i love inteligent conversations with him.- i love my family and i feel loved too. my family is the best ever. they give me everything and more...), friends, good grades, ...
You seem to be kind of confused about relationships. You think too much about the future. You are only 17. Why not just enjoy the moment with the guy you like and let the future unfold itself? If you feel right for each other, great; if not, you can then break up and move on. Relationships (or life in general) are for us to experience, not for the mind to think and make a decision before experiencing or feeling…

roscho has a very good point:

I'm going to try to fix my depression, and then try and rebuild my life around a better me instead of continuing to try to build a better life around a broken me. That's proven not to last very long.
You may want to consider if you need some professional help (if you have not had any). Anyway, things change. How you think and feel also changes. You are confused with conflicting thoughts now. Don’t hurt yourself as you know you do not really want to die and you have a lot going for you - your family, your friends…maybe even a real man that is right for you somewhere...

Be a good friend to yourself…
 
#7
he was my best friend for three years before we went into a relationship. I now that i love him.... we used to talk every day for years, about everything... i kinda trusted him.
And now i've lost my boyfriend... and my bestfriend... :( only ''real'' firend i ever had. Because i was sad... i feel like a really bad person now. I ruined the whole relationship with my depression.

I felt into depression in april... he newer liked the new me. I dont like that eather...

i cryed out the whole thing in the chat room (i am now without friends that i could cry to), i feel a little better now :(
 

LoveBeing

Well-Known Member
#8
Good to hear that you feel a little better now…

In your post #1, you said “he wants me as a friend”? You can still be friends…who knows, maybe you can get out of your depression and his relationship with the new girl may not work out (as his relationship with her is based on not knowing her that well)…

Life is full of possibilities. Hang in there…

With loving wishes and hugs :hug:
 

roscho

Well-Known Member
#9
That was a great point, Love. He said he would still be friendly - be friendly back. He just met her on holiday, you he's know and liked for years. She's the shiny new thing, that's all. Just give him space to have this "whatever" and be his friend. We all need more friends.
 
#11
To hypothermia:

I was with a man for 3 years. Before I met him, I had live a totally lonely life. When he came to me, I thought I found my soulmate, my love, my life... Well, one day he left me to another woman, who is very sexy and happy. In fact, he cheated on me. He said he want to be alone for a while, to work. He "worked" with that woman. When I discovered, he told me he did not love me anymore. I fell apart, you know. He was my world, my everything. I tried to kill myself that night. I was so alone, and scared, and angry, and painful...

But I live on. Now I dont have any boyfriend, but my mind is free of him. I had a very difficult time to accept that I have to be on my own, without him, without his love. But keep trying, dont give up. You will find someone else. :)
 

roscho

Well-Known Member
#14
I'm a big, tall, strong 45 year old man, and I've been crying more this week than at any other time in my life. I hear what you are saying about needing to stop. However, I think to stop it needs to come out a little more. It will stop, I'm sure of it.

I could easily say I screwed up, but that's not true. Somebody that I trusted with my core left me when I needed them most to do what would help me.

Cry if you need to, drink lots of water - it is seriously dehydrating.

You are on the road to healing, the tears help keep the dust down.
 
#15
I know it's hard, but little by little and day by day you will learn to adjust to his absence. I sorry but if it were me, I wouldn't even want him back. If he deserted you now, he'll do it again. A good relationship is about doing for each other. You didn't ruin the relationship, HE DID! He lost a great gal because of his lack of commitment. When you truly love someone, you will go through anything for them. It may not feel like it, but it's good that you found that out now. You can find someone so much better, but you have to believe in yourself. Get some help if you feel yourself falling back into depression. Go see a therapist, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or just start with a family doctor. There are so many treatments out there for depression, but they won't come knocking at your door. I know you can overcome this!! Good luck and just know you have a cheering squad here rooting for you!!
:bubble: :stars:
 
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