Help me please.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nordi, Dec 31, 2011.

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  1. nordi

    nordi Active Member

    I want to end my life, just for the relief, I don't really want to die. I just want to get out of all these damn situations I am in. I am thinking I will go to the store tonight and buy charcoal and duct tape. I want to tape off one of the rooms here, take a shitload of pills, drink some, light the charcoal and let it burn while I sleep. It should be painless, i'll be asleep. If anyone knows of a more painless way, please say something. I just can't do this anymore.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Can you explain the situations you are in nordi?
    No-one will help you end your life, we will try to help you make progress with the problems you have.
     
  3. nordi

    nordi Active Member

    Just my meds arent working, my marriage is falling apart.I hate my kids and they hate me, so many damn appointments. So much fucking therapy that Im shelling out cash for thats not helping. I am drowning and no one is trying to save me.
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Your family situation sounds bad, nordi. Are you separating from your husband?
    Do you kids really hate you or is it just the way kids are? How old are they?

    Therapy can take a while to make a difference. How long has it been?
     
  5. nordi

    nordi Active Member

    Ive been in therapy since before i went into the looney bin. So about a month, i have group three times a week and weekly personal sessions. My husband and i are just growing apart. the kids are young, ages 2 and 3. but I absolutely loathe them. I want to leave but i have no where to go.
     
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    They are young to hate anyone. Perhaps they pick up on the fact that you are unwell? At that age they do not understand things. When you feel better, they may feel better around you.
    That is not long for one to one, I hope you can give it more time.
    As for your marriage, do you want to stay together?
     
  7. nordi

    nordi Active Member

    Yes, but the kids are tearing us apart. All they do is fight and scream and destory things. We are both at our whits end, he however will not let me give them up. They deserve a better start than us. But he just wont let them go.
     
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Children are outside of my experience. Can you get help with them? At that age they need a lot of oversight, If you cannot give it to them, can your husband?
     
  9. nordi

    nordi Active Member

    He is the only one that works, doesnt have the time. Oh well, I am going to go play skyrim and hope to god the kids dont wake up from their naps before my husband gets home.
     
  10. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Thats a good plan - Skyrim is awesome!
    Could you have Post-Natal Depression? How long have you felt this way?
     
  11. nordi

    nordi Active Member

    I've been dealing with depression for about 11 years. I was just recently diagnosed as bipolar. And yes, Skyrim is awesome.
     
  12. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Depression and bipolar... ouch.
    Does your therapist know?
    I love it. It made me nearly cry when I found a dead couple on the snow that were running away together...
     
  13. nordi

    nordi Active Member

    Yeah, my therapist knows, its a pretty hard hitter for me. Skyrim is where I get lost in, I took sides with the stormcloaks and now I feel I totally betrayed everyone in game, lol.
     
  14. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I hope your therapist can help. What does he think about your kids?

    Ooh I have not chosen yet. Is Stormcloaks a bad choice?
     
  15. brunswick

    brunswick Active Member

    sounds like you're angry because you cannot cope
    and hurting because you blame yourself
    you think your kids deserve better
    and your life is such a handful anyways

    i think you're doing ok
    sometimes life can be really crummy
    it's not your fault

    you're seeing therapists
    you're getting counselling
    you're seeking help
    you're taking your meds

    don't expect too much
    sometimes what we think is normal is too much
    most of us cannot cope with "normal"
    or what i call other people's expectations
    or even our own expectations

    i live by telling myself i'm doing my best
    that's enough
    the rest will get by without my help

    you're doing your best
    that's enough
    you're going through so much
    and still you're pushing to do better
    that's awesome

    don't beat yourself up
    the world can do that well enough without our help
     
  16. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Aren't any of the mods going to edit out the method...:/ I thought those kinds of things weren't allowed on here.
     
  17. realhopeful

    realhopeful Member

    I'm really happy you reached out here for help. I'll be here to listen if you need it. :hug:
     
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