Practical Advice Help me, stuck on a cliff

[bluebearee]

Hi,
These past 2 weeks have been very hard for me. I have this problem. It has been inside of me for 5 years. I beieve I suffer from many multiple mental illnesses for sure. I'm no doctor but I feel like I might have OCD, Bipolar, and a bit of a psycopath. It scares me. Every day I have thoughts of hurting others. It's not pleasent. It could happen when I'm upset or feeling neutal. I can't get rid of them. I never really told anyone. My emotions change a lot because my brain shows me memories of the past. They can make me angry, sad or super happy, and hyper. I'm starting to feel withdrawn with everyone. I try to be nice to people at school. But I do'nt care about anyone. I just don't feel like talking to anyone. Therefore I really don't have much friends. Not hanging out with anyone really emotionally drains me. Everybody and everything is annoying now. This stuff happing to me is pretty painful. I want to be normal and appciated for who I am. I no longer want to be in pain. It is going to be really hard telling my parents. They look down on people with mental illness. Maybe tell a bunch of people, get mad at me, get mad at each other. Some days I feel like I want to die. But, I know I'm better than all this crap that I'm going through. Is hospitalization the only option? My parents are going to go crazy when they find out the truth. I do care about my education. I do want to graduate on time. No hassle. I want everything to be better than ok. Please help me!

Sorry about my spelling and grammar.

 

[may71]

Sorry to hear that you're going through this

My parents are going to go crazy when they find out the truth

It's important that you get treatment, but you might want to wait on telling your parents if you can avoid it.

It would be great if they could give you some support, but it sounds like telling them would just add to your stress.

Every day I have thoughts of hurting others

Well, that probably means that you have some anger inside you, which is not good in itself, but you may have some reasons why you feel that way. I don't think that necessarily makes you a psychopath. If you actually formed a plan to harm people and had serious plans to carry that out, it would be more of a problem.

Is hospitalization the only option?

If you feel like you are at risk for making a suicide attempt, then going to the hospital might be a good idea. Otherwise, it would probably be better to get a formal diagnosis from a therapist or a psychiatrist on an outpatient basis.

There may be some resources that could help you, but they vary by what country you are in.

I hope that something can help!