Help me understand him

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Tracy24#, Jul 10, 2016.

  1. Tracy24#

    Tracy24# Member

    He's depressed. He's been threw so much last year. But we've always been supportive of eachother. We are happy. In love and been playing our future, he's even been looking at engagement rings, everyone know how inlove we are.. And it's amazing. But since he's been on medication and under court over his kids. He's been pushing me out, saying his feelings have changed, that he doesn't know why or how. And he just keeps saying he wants to be on his own. I dnt understand how he can change over night. From sitting planning our future talking about how well we get on. And how happy we are. To going to court one morning and not coming back., why and how has this happend and why then against me. When I'm the only one who's supported him. And hw we feel about eachother. This isn't him. He's like a different person.. How can I make him understand what he's doing is the wrong thing. And make him come back or at least see sense. This is tearing me up in side. And today he said he meant it all what he said. Marriage. Love, and our future. Then just changed again to. My feelings changed and I dnt know why... I can not understand or get my head together and I'm loosing my mind. I can't sleep, eat, or even get myself out of bed. How do I make this man understand what he has now and what he's doing.. Someone just tell me what I can do
     
  2. CodeX

    CodeX Controversial Figure

    1. Talk - if that doesn't work
    2. Give space (lots of space) - if that doesn't work
    3. Leave and be happy with yourself

    and Yes it is easy for me to say then for you to actually do.
     
  3. Tracy24#

    Tracy24# Member

    Talk he won't talk. Just gives me simple answers.. Gives me mixed signals. I'm trying to give space. But cos of the situation it's hard for me to not ask questions.. And I dnt want to just walk away because what we have is amazing.. N I know he's hurting and doing the wrong thing because he's messed up. It's just so hard and so confusing
     
  4. CodeX

    CodeX Controversial Figure

    Right now all your focus is in HOPE .. you will think maybe this and that (because of which he cant talk) ..basically everything that will give you hope that he loves you
     
  5. Tracy24#

    Tracy24# Member

    I'm so lost without him. We've never spent a day apart.. And I hate he's hurting and I can't help him. I just can't cope anymore with hurt and pain. I've been thru to much in my life to even get my head together after this. It's really cutting me up inside
     
  6. CodeX

    CodeX Controversial Figure

    if he doesn't want the relationship then there is not much you can do ..
     
    blacknblue likes this.
  7. Huw

    Huw Well-Known Member

    If you really like someone you must talk to them. As often as possible and for as long as possible. If he's not communicating then that is a powerful hint.

    I remember going through a similar thing myself as a young man with more than a couple of girl friends. If pressed for an answer then, as I was, I was unable/unwilling to answer.
    With 20/20 hindsight I'd say I was a selfish coward who was happy to take without giving commitment. It's possible to get away with it for some time, but eventually we blow our cover.

    I can honestly say that I never embarked upon a relationship with a view to acting in this way and when it happened I was surprised. It's like knowing something has run its course, but refusing to admit it.

    I hope this is helpful in some way.
     
  8. Tracy24#

    Tracy24# Member

    But wouldn't his thoughts and feelings be due to medication. Because I've got back off him that he wanted it all. That his heads a mess. And needs to be alone. So I'm getting mixed signals all the time. It's really confusing