Help me understand

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twing, Nov 28, 2011.

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  1. twing

    twing Active Member

    I have seen before that 'people who commit suicide don't want to die'.

    I have also seen comments on the internet about how people are annoyed they didn't do it, they say this time it will happen, they say I am going to do it on xx date and finally I will be free.

    I don't feel as though I want to die, I don't understand the idea of setting a date, I don't even call myself suicidal.

    But, I find myself thinking about suicide regularly, I have thought about how I would do it if I did do it and I think it would be easier to feel nothing.

    But I don't think I will ever do it. I don't see myself ACTUALLY doing it.

    So what does this mean?
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    You might just be wanting to die (to escape your current temporary situation), painlessly but not be suicidal.
  3. Mogwai02

    Mogwai02 Active Member

    are you in any emotional pain?
  4. twing

    twing Active Member

    emotional / psychological pain yes.
  5. My view of it: there is fear and it's the boss. It commands the body to seek ways to end itself, and one of this is the idea of death. The latter has nothing to do with the former though, it's only a useful servant. Fear is always in charge. Death is just an idea, fear is the real thing.
  6. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Actually suicidal ideation (thinking about suicide, but not making plans or doing it) is very common for depressed folks.

    It becomes a sort of coping mechanism. Wishing for the end to the pain.

    A better coping mechanism is trying to identify the pain and address it as best you can.

    Please keep posting. Let us get to know you.

    We have all been there at one time or another.

  7. ConfusedSilence

    ConfusedSilence Well-Known Member

    I think that just thinking about it is preparing yourself. I'm not saying don't do it, because it actually helps me realise that I'm not ready whenever I feel charged to do something, but watch for certain types of thoughts, like the thoughts and pick out the thoughts that are plans and the thoughts that are just observations. That's what I do.

    Hope that this helps.
  8. Alarius

    Alarius Member

    Actually walking into a suicide, and seeing a few aftermaths of the mess it leaves. I do think that one of them was just to release but got pushed too far.

    But out of experience, you are the only one that knows your boundaries. I have came very close several times, and surprisingly failed, and although I am on the edge as never before, you will know when you want to cross that road, its not for everyone nor do I encourage it for others.

    But as ConfusedSilence says, and I completely agree. Its more about preparing yourself, or coming to peace with things. Its like, When you are depressed, hurt and devastated and suddenly you are ok in a quick sudden change. You find peace with the idea and this can/seems also to happen unconsciously.

    Even though you don't see yourself following through with it, accidents do happen. Just be careful if you do not have the intentions of actually doing it.
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