help me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Angelie, Mar 11, 2013.

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  1. Angelie

    Angelie Member

    I've been through so much over the last 18 months, well my whole life really. I suffer from terrible body dysmorphic disorder, social anxiety, depression and agoraphobia. We all lose people, we all suffer losses in life. I know this, but my own losses of late have been unbearable to cope with. I wont write everything because there is too much to write but ive had a relationship breakdown,I moved house twice in four months,coped with the death of an uncle and had funeral to sort, his flat/ Will to sort, I have a brother with learning difficulties I look out for and have to protect him from my theiving rotten family and help him with his life in general, I've lost a friend to suicide very recently and I feel I'm losing my mind. I cant pinpoint EXACTLY what is making me feel suicidal as I am, but its my lack of 'life', my body dysmorphia and the loss of my friend that I keep dreaming about that I think has taken me 'on the edge'.

    I'm scared because I dont fear dying anymore nor do I fear suicide like I used to. Its comforting that its a real option in my life.. I can't cope with my life anymore.

  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    With all that happening no wonder you don't feel able to cope. Get some help and support and if you have some already get more. All those events would take anyone to the edge as I know from experience. There is help out there though not well co-ordinated. Happy to help if you need any specific info. Hugs for you.
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ((gentle hug))

    I can relate in part to some of how you are feeling.
    If you see me in chat, feel free to tap me on the shoulder, if you need/want to talk.

    ...and he would not want you to follow (hug)

    heck, we can at least cry together. I do a lot of that, usually alone.

    Anyway, i am here if you need.
  4. Angelie

    Angelie Member

    Thank you for your replies, it is comforting to know im not alone, but its so difficult not to FEEL alone in my pain x

    Im on antidepressants and have been for about 5 months or so. they helped at first but since lifes events are slowly getting worse I'm not sure they're doing much good anymore.
  5. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i think in part, not feeling alone in it, can come by connecting with others one might be able to relate to.
    it doesn't take that feeling completely away, although i think it can help ease things...sometimes
    just long enough to keep us breathing for another day.

    then again, i don't have BDD...I know that plays a big part in things as well.

    Maybe it's time to speak with your doc about a med change?

    I hope you'll keep talking. Please don't do anything.

    I am here for you if you need.

    ((gentle hugs))
  6. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Any possibility of a support group, counsellor or therapist irl to add to the support? Because of your brother the Carers Trust might at least give you emotional support. We're here but grab all you can. Feeling alone is common. That's why the rest of us are here, hugs.
  7. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    Angie - I have suffered from crippling body dysmorphic disorder most of my life, so I know how agonizing it is. It is so hard for those who have never experienced it to understand.

    I completely agree with sd - connecting with others who can relate to what you are going through CAN make a difference. Please keep posting, Angie.
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