Help me!

So, I am 14 and I have been self-harming (cutting) for almost a year now. I feel like whenever I get something I right, it disappears the second afterwards. Nobody likes me (literally) and my friends stopped talking to me. Back in October I was pretty suicidal, I didn't want to keep living my life in hell. My parents got divorced and that's when it all started. Now they sue each other all the time and my dad is doing everything to ruin my mom's, my sister's and my very own life. I am called a ***** in school because I kissed ONE fucking boy. I have nobody to talk to. I like this boy since like August but we were never a couple. So I kinda made a promise to God; if I stopped having suicidal thoughts and stopped cutting, he would let me be with the boy I like. But as usual, that didn't happen. So I started cutting again. It's the only thing that takes the pain away.

I want to tell my mom that I cut, that i need serious clinical help. But she's going through a lot with my dad and all, I don't want to cause any more trouble for her. I'm also scared of her reaction. And if I do tell her, how do I do it? How do I tell her? How do I start the conversation?

 

Hi hun boy it is so hard when parents get divorced hun Just know hun it has nothing to do with you ok They should be providing you with a safe environment away from all that divorce stuff and they are not. If you can hun please talk to a councilor at your school or a teacher that you trust about what you are going through The councilor will be able to help you with your self harming Perhaps you can get the councilor at the school talk to your parents together to get them to see how all this is affecting you Glad you are reaching out here hun people can be so cruel i know that especially people your own age Just know that these people will eventually move on You will meet other people other boys hun so don't worry ok

Do talk to a teacher or councilor they can help you hun hugs

 

I would give some advice but I've never been good at confronting my parents so I will long leave that to a more experienced member but if you ever need any body to talk to many other members like myself are more then glad to be here for you thick and thin.
The only real advice I can give you is to be completely honest with your mom, and if your afraid to confront her alone you can always address any trust adult / authority figure at your school, they will do their best to help you; I know it may not seem like they care about you but they really do and you'll be lighter when you share your feelings.

 

Honesty, straightforwardness, and calm are the best ways to go about it. More than likely when she realizes the content of the conversation, she may start to panic or get upset, either at you or at herself for not seeing it. Just try to keep a level head, even if she cannot. Don't forget, while she may be your mother, you are her daughter as well, and it is natural for parents to overreact when it comes to something harming their child.

However it boils over, though, please know we're here to help you.

 

hello there.
Firstl well done for telling us about your current situation i know it may a lot for you to talk about and quite triggering and I am so sorry you in this position. The best thing you can do is plan how you going to talk to your mum about it and approach with caution. It may cause more problems if you were talk about it to her now just give it wait until the divorce is finally being sorted and then tell her, may be you could approach the subject slowly with her and see how it goes. In the mean time keep distracted, try not to draw attention to yourself at p.e in school and if any any ask say you've cut on bush somewhere and make sure you wear darker clothes to hide any marks. don't make it obvious youve cut yourself. Tell you what, I can speak someone i know who has more knowledge of sh than me and see what he suggests. Don't worry he doesn't know that i visit this forum, so you your name will be kept anon.

ps this is a useful website for further information
www.nshn.co.uk
there's also a forum on the right if you want to chat to various people on there.

 

Hiya there
I have just got back from speaking to someone I know and he has basically suggested you get on to your computer/paper and pen and write them a letter on how you feeling and that way it will avoid conflicts which will make you feel worse and it will give them time to digest the information while you are out at school or in town. Do you have a cpn (pysch nurse) or mh professional/advocate who can speak on your behalf it that helps. But never ever let them find out the hard that would make your situation 100 times worse.

 

Hi TeenageGirl,
Sorry sweetheart this is happening, it really isn't your fault. Parents do break up and all of you need to support/help each other better. Please tell your mum and dad, if she/he is shocked again that is not your fault. I know both your parents still love you and want the best for you. Can friends at school help you, try and make amends if possible. Ignore any who bullied you for kissing a boy you liked. You cared for him that is normal. Tell him how you feel. Make some new friends, and ignore any who try to hurt you. Tell the school if it really is upsetting you and your parents.

Be proud of what you do right, that is such an achievement.
When telling your mum and dad, maybe show them your arm and say were so stressed/unhappy you have been hurting yourself. Say how scared you were to tell them, so your parents understand why. Tell them what scares you about the divorce. Write it down and give your parents to read. Shock is normal it shows how much they care. It's great you did seek help and want to resolve this. Your life really will get better!
Take care you are not alone in coping with this.
Kate

 

Hey teenagegirl

I really hope you have sorted things out and told your parents or at least made a start on opening up how you are you feeling.