Help me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by andrew2131, Mar 29, 2008.

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  1. andrew2131

    andrew2131 New Member

    I really need help some ten years or so ago myself and another boy got accused of interfering with a 5 year old girl. these were false accusations but now it has re-entered my mind I cant sleep half the time, i feel so alone depressed and really suicidal (eg looking on the net each day for the easiest and most painless way)i have to push myself to eat and always paranoid about the police coming to the door to take me away. Now at 23 i have 2 kids and a partner. I cant talk to my partner about this she would hate me for telling her. I dont know where to turn. I dont want to end it I love my life what can i do to stop these thoughts I cant talk to anybody i know about them.
     
  2. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Hey Andrew,

    Im really sorry about all the problems your facing, that must of been a terrible time.

    You need to remember that you didnt do it. If the police knew they were false there is no reason they would ever come back to accuse you of anything. If the social services have never been involved as you were innocent, you have nothing to worry about.

    Have you spoken to a doctor about the problems you are having? They will be able to support you and maybe offer you some councelling or some medication to help with what you are feeling

    :hug:
     
  3. andrew2131

    andrew2131 New Member

    The thing is i dont think the police thought it was. This is really getting me down really badly its all i can think about now i hate it all day long morning till night when i get up till i finally get to sleep its there in my mind. I couldnt face talking to anybody like a doctor verbally about this.
     
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    andrew, i know it's hard to talk to the doctor but perhaps you could just say that you are feeling very low, thinking about suicide alot to start and then let them refer you to a counsellor or for an assessemnt. it's hard to open up in general, and your situation is harder than most. but if you can find a counsellor you trust you might be able to put this in the past.

    you cannot keep hanging on to your secrets, they will eat away at you. there is no shame in feeling low or suicidal and going to see a counsellor. if you can't see your family doctor just ask around for who your friends recommend and go see another GP. he/she doesn't need the full back story, just enough info to make a referral.

    as for the police, if they felt the case had merit they are required to act. since they didn't you can only trust that it is considered closed. it must be terrible to live with the fear that the accusations from 10 years ago may come back to haunt you. i really encourage you to reach out for help. once you start thinking about suicide alot it's hard to dislodge the thoughts on your own, it can really, really help to have the support of mental health services.
     
  5. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    I totally agree with Dazzle. I know it is going to be really hard to reach out, but once yu have made that step things do start to get easier.

    Its a long process, but i think you can do it. Give it a try, even if its just for the sake of your little ones

    xx
     
  6. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    Andrew, if you are innocent of all charges, why would you let these thoughts haunt you?
     
  7. andrew2131

    andrew2131 New Member

    I never got charged with anything just questioned about it. Just really paranoid that something is going to happen now that time has passed. I am really thinking about doing away with myself because I can sense something is going to happen i dont know why but i can sense it I dont want to end up in a jail for something i didnt do. I have been feeling crap with this in my head for a month and a half now.I would goto a doctor/counseller but then my partner would find out what is going on I dont want her knowing anything about it she would freak.
     
  8. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    What's happened to make it re-enter your mind after 10 years?

    If you were wrongly accused then you've got nothing to worry about, there is no point ending your life over something which may never happen, try not to worry about it so much.
     
  9. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    Andrew, thank you for sharing your thoughts because it's important to get an objective view from people who are looking at your situation without emotion. I wonder if this paranoia has to do with something other than what you believe it is related to. Or is this just a fear you have because our penal system is so messed up, and you believe you could be wrongly accused? We all have these type of fears at one point or another. If you are innocent, I wouldn't let this ruin your life. You need to look at this in perspective, and realize that there are laws protecting the innocent. The worst possible scenario, which would be that you were accused of something you did not do, is that there are now lawyers whose sole purpose is to get people out of jail who don't belong there. It's called the Innocence Project. I really do hope you can let go of this unnecessary worry.
     
  10. andrew2131

    andrew2131 New Member

    I will try to overcome this. I will get into the doctors on monday and see how things go from there. thank you for telling it to me straight and sharing your support.
     
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