Help me!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lonely_child, Feb 28, 2009.

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  1. lonely_child

    lonely_child Member

    I'm wasting my life away and I don't know what to do. I suck, I hate myself, I am so boring, and I can never show the appropriate reaction to any situation. I can't even be myself around people, it so hard and I don't know why. I need to do something quick to change my life around, but fuck I'm just too unlucky. My nerdy friends from last year and change to a very outgoing party person, and almost every college students do change, except me. Shit, I have gotten so much worst since high school, that I have trouble even saying "hi" to people, like I couldn't do it if my life depend on it. I hate myself, I hate people, I can't talk to them, maybe I intimidate them, maybe I just suck, probably I am not very friendly cause I don't talk much when I'm depress (99% of the time).

    Fuck my stupid living horror life.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi ......glad you reached out with this....

    depression, as you know, does change how we act and inter-act with others. hell, it affects our decisions, our habits, everything! so it is not 'you' it is the depression. yes that can even stop us from reacting properly to situations, w/friends, co-workers, etc.

    i hope you are getting treatment for depression. forgive me if you have already mentioned that - i remember reading your first thread but i don't remember all details...(depression causes memory dysfunction too!)
    i believe you can get past this point and make good friendships. you are reaching out here - that shows me you want to make friends, that you need people (we all do) and it is a very positive part of you. hold on to that part..and lean on us .

    if you want to pm me, i'm here everyday.
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hey lonely,

    I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble in school - live in college is, unlike the marketed media, not always the greatest place. Especially in your first years. Please don't feel bad about how you behave around others - instead try to remember that you're a worthwhile human being with a unique story to share. :dry: I don't know if that'll help much. But believe me when I say that I didn't become comfortable around people until I was 21.

    Is there any counselor you can talk with ? They're basically shit, but it feels good to get some things off your chest.

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