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Help Me...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Candy 666, Nov 3, 2009.

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  1. Candy 666

    Candy 666 New Member

    Okay, so i'm 14, have this huge wonderful life coming my way, but my best friend dies..and everything begins to change. She killed herself because she was a lesbian and no one liked her, i was her best and only friend. she stopped me a few times from making the same desicion because i was being bullyed alot, having rumors go around that i was pregnet, things like that. After she died, i got into a really bad relationship with this boy named Derek. I swear to god i still love him cause the things he does to me now...well...i won't do anything about...i basically take it all. He bossed me around alot when we dated, forced me to give him blow jobs, stuff like that. Then when we broke up...he beat the crap outta me. I mean...it was pretty bad. Every now and again he'll stop by my house, or follow me somewhere, like the mall or something, and talk to me about the men i'm seeing, who they are, ext. and then i'll get another taste of knuckle sandwich. Then after that, around september, another close friend died, then an uncle, then a close family friend, then another two uncles, a couisn, and another friend. so now theres this other boy. we dated for two days, he broke up with me cause he said he didn't know me that well, then we dated three days later for almost a week. the third day of dating i went over to his house, for my reason, to hang out. but i was forced to give him a blow job, just like i was forced with derek. i didn't like that too much. the next day, all he could talk about was other girls, basically saying how he gets hit on by them all the time, and how they flirt with him. and everyone knows, girl friends don't like hearing that! it pisses them off. then two days before halloween, we were all at lunch trying to figure out how we were all meeting up. he looks at me and says "your coming over to my house at 2" i was like "dude, it's a saturday, fuck that, it's too early, and it's halloween!" and then he's like "fine, you have to come over at 4:30, no arguing" and in my mind i'm thinking like, that's my choice wheather to go over to your house or not! and i had plans to go over to my friends to get ready and then meet up. so the next day i broke up with him cause having all the drama and at home life shit going on, his bull wasn't settling with me too well. so now all he does is complain how i broke his heart, and how he cuts himself. and then when i say "whatever" to like..tell him i don't want to hear it anymore, he sits there and tells me that i'm a custy little bitch for not giving a shit about him, and that he regrets falling inlove with me and all that hurtful shit. so i got suspended for beating the shit outta some kid who was threating to break my legs with a hockey stick. so today my ex texts me and says how this girl who is my friend gave him her number and such. so bascially, he's going on about girls again. when he knows i still love him. so i flipped, i was like, dude...you wonder why i broke up with you in the first place, and when i still want you back your gonna keep doing it? and he like, backfired on me pretty heavy. he said shit like "you better give me her fucking msn to prove that you actually love me" and all that shit. so i was like o_O :'( for like, 7 hours straight. so now i'm on the verge of killing myself. all this stress build up, heart ache, all that nonsense is like killing me. i don't fucking know how to get rid of it. i've resorted to some pretty heavy shit, and i don't see any other way. i need help before i make the biggest desision of my life...live or die.......fml.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't deserve to be treated the way either of those guys have treated you. Nobody has the right to hit you, and you need to stay as far away from someone if they do. I know it's not easy when you really love someone, but he's only going to keep hurting you. You can find people who care about you for YOU, not who want to hurt you.
  3. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Candy, don't talk to these guys, they are absolute dropkick wankers. Only a coward hits a woman, and an idiot bosses women around. You should focus on yourself, teenage boys are pretty dumb and don't know how to treat a woman properly. This derek guy doesn't deserve your love, and I don't think you should give it to him. No offense, but you are a teenager and I doubt you truly know what love is yet. I thought I did at that age, like most people, but I didn't have a clue. Don't sweat people talking about you, they can only affect you if you let it. I hope you feel better, and take my advice, because it will help you.

    And keep posting here, it is a good place with helpful, understanding people. DON'T kill yourself.
  4. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    You should seek help if you can. I'm here if you want to talk.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    as i have many questions, because of your age im only going to ask one.

    why havnt you told your parents about ... at the very least ... the beating and the knuckle sandwich ?
    the only thing i will tell you is, its time for you to get yourself out of the situation your in. if he persists, then you have grounds for calling the cops or taking action to keep him from bothering you.

    lastly ... the fact that your 14, u really need to remove yourself from this environment. i dont mean killing yourself. your much to young to end your life and there are far to many kids that do just that for just the same reasons.

    you need to remove yourself from so called boy friends that only want what they want. life isnt about that. if you feel that your somebody because your getting attention from them ... thats not a healthy situation.

    at your age there are many avenues to choose from to rid yourself from that.

    i hope that you stop and think for a few minutes. realize that your only 14 and young ppl at that age shouldnt be giving blow jobs to anyone .. for any reason. its time that you show yourself some respect. im sure there is alot more to the story. there is usually a reason why girls end up this way at that age.
    its time YOU take control of you. start showing yourself some respect and dont believe that guys are with ALL THAT because you can perform sex acts for them. that isnt what life is about. dont allow yourself to be taken down by this situation.

    find yourself and find some good ppl to hang around with. your far to young to be in the situation your in.
  6. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Hey Candy, looks like you've had a seriously shit run with guys. This first guy...Derek or who ever it was, he actually beat you up? I'm pretty sure that's assualt or what ever. If I was in that situation I would probly flipped and gone insane(Unfortunately I tend to bottle things up and then someone ends up copping something :mad:). I wouldn't say all this stuff to do with BJ's and shit head bf's are that good for your mental state. Probly the best thing to do would be what Odie suggested, get yourself away from the wankers and get some non-dangerous friends.

    Oh, and choose to live! Don't die, when it's your time to go you'll be taken by forces uncontrollable by you(For some reason that doesn't sound right).

    Good Luck and stay safe! :)
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Candy!! I agree with the others that you need to remove yourself from people like that.. Your 14 and have a head on your shoulders..You know you shouldn't be giving BJ's to anyone..They think your easy so they dump on you..If the abuse keeps happening from your ex then report him to the police.. They will put a restraining order against him so he can't come near you without being arrested..Have you thought about joining any clubs at school?? You will make a whole new set of friends..This is not the end of the world.. You can make life whatever you want it to be.. You just need to apply yourself..Please don't harm yourself..Come here and talk with us..Take Care!!!
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