I know it's silly to want to kill myself over the death of a member of my favorite band but... I feel like it. I didn't feel like it before, but now... since that incident... I've wanted nothing but. Some stupid b*tch commented on the homage blog post my love posted in memory of him and completely mocked his death. I've already hated her because she's abusive to my friend Julie (Who's a brainless twat for staying with her anyways0. And now I just want to murder her. Of course she lives all the way in Mexico so I can't do a thing. But NO ONE disrespects the dead in my presence. Even if I've never heard of the person who passed on NO ONE disrespects the dead in front of me. These kids were running around in the graveyard stomping on graves while I was visiting my great grandma and I was near to breaking their skull open for being so stupid. Point taken, NO ONE DISRESPECTS THE DEAD. And this chick did. To my favorite drummer in the world. Who's a part of my favorite band in the world. Which is my only means of escaping the world. I yelled at her. I screamed at her and called her obscenities and now I wish she were dead. But I don't wish her dead. I really don't. I wish I were dead instead. I wish I had the guts to kill myself right here and right now. Not only is my only means of hope gone, but it was also disrespected. And on top of that I'm wishing death on someone... and that's just not me. I never do that. I feel so helpless right now... I feel so confused right now.. I just want to fucking die. I don't give a care. I just want to die. And it's all her fault for being so disrespectful... It's ALL her fault. But... I don't know. ... i just dont.