help me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by unidentifiable, Mar 7, 2010.

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  1. unidentifiable

    unidentifiable Well-Known Member

    i'm done with life and the pain it brings! i'm so sick and tired of it! it's absolutely ridiculous!
    why does life have to be this hard?? why do i have to feel so much?
    my mom is controlling and oppressive, my dad was and alcoholic and abusive. i cut... i'm underweight and trying to lose more weight. i have a best friend who doesn't talk to me about anything. i just need help. i need to know that someone out there needs me to be alive... and it's not that i want to die, it's just that i don't want to be alive.... god, i just want to be dead. it would be so much easier for everyone. i would stop hurting people. everyone would be happier with me gone.... my mom says that i do it all for attention.. which is sooo not true. i hate attention. she thinks i'm making it all up.... the depression and suicidal thoughts... well, i've settled everything. i've made my notes and my video.... i will kill myself. i'm just waiting for that one last thing that sets me over the edge... god, i hate myself. i feel like i'm complaining. am i complaining? do i have a right to say what's on my mind... because it's getting too much to bear... too much... it is soo much to deal with... nothing is forgotten and i just want it all to go away.. i want to go away. everyone is like..."don't die" and "you should stay" and "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem". well, i frankly don't give a shit anymore. i don't care about my life. at. all. i just wish everything would go away... but it's not like i'm completely heartless... i love my parents and my siblings my boyfriend and my best friend... my best friend especially. i don't know what it would do to her if i died.... she's the one reason why i haven't done anything....yet.. but how deep does love really go? how long do i have to suffer? my mood swings are unpredictable and within the next hour or so, i'll be so far away from being happy.... never happy.. not really. there's only two instances where i'm "happy".. it's with my boyfriend and my best friend... they would care. but i don't. i mean, about them, yes. i care about them. a lot. i just don't care about myself... *sigh* i just don't know of any other solution... i'm just tired of it all... tired of life in general. if there is a god, why does he make us suffer? why?? i know life isn't fair, but come on! seriously! it's stupid... i just need a sign! something to tell me whether or not to end my life!!! i'm so confused.
    i know i'm a walking, talking, typing contradiction.... but i can't help it. i just get confused and upset... but i've been depressed for over a year now.. *sigh* I'M JUST SHIT TIRED OF THIS FUCKING LIFE! WHAT'S THE POINT IN LIVING?!?!?! ahhhh
  2. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    Sometimes parents just don't know how to respond when presented with such a problem and most of the time when they do respond it's negative, but that doesn't mean they mean it. Sure, words like that spoken from people you love hurts and it hurts a lot, but they do care- Even if it's not exactly what they show.

    It's worth living because you still have people who care and I bet would be generally devastated if you were gone. You said your best friend doesn't talk to you about anything, right? Have you tried talking to her about that, sometimes people are just generally elusive, even when they don't mean to be. You also said you have a boyfriend, well, wouldn't he care if you decided to die?

    Also, you shouldn't worry about complaining about anything- We're hear to listen.
  3. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    Go to your school counselor.They will understand.They will also keep it a secret from other kids if that's a problem.

    This is assuming your under the age of 18.

    This site really needs an age thing by your posts
  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to find you so upset tonight and wish I had the right words to not only take away your pain but also to help you view your life with hope instead of such dismay.

    You are right it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I prefer using the term transient problem as it seems to come and go for most of us, does it you? Like it gets better and there are bright spots but the darkness and the suffering returns.

    You mentioned that your happy when your with your best friend and with your boyfriend..can you be with them now or perhaps get in contact iwth them? We are here for you and maybe soon you will find this a haven and a place to find some happiness. For now hold on to thoughts of your two loved ones if you can and maybe soon the dark sides will fall away.

    I don't know what else advice to offer as I don't know you two well but you are in pain just like me so I care and am here for you.
    If you would like to PM me you may, sometimes it is easier to talk there, up to you.

    Take care, know you are not alone and know I care,
  5. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    Bambi I get those bright moments,but I get one about every 6 months and it lasts 3 weeks and then back to hell.Thankfully I'm just about in a bright moment
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