Help me.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Miu, Mar 21, 2011.

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  1. Miu

    Miu Well-Known Member

    I'm standing on the edge of doing something very stupid and permanent. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. I so badly wanna be saved, but honestly I don't know if it's possible. I constantly feel so much pain, it's unbearable. Lately I cry all the time and everything is so hard, just getting out of the bed in the morning or even getting dressed. I don't remember ever being happy and I honestly don't think I'll ever be. I self harm a lot and pray to hit a vein so I can leave this world bleeding. I want to want to live, but I just don't. I have nowhere left to turn and nothing left to do. Give me a good reason not to end it all? .. Please? :(
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I know this sounds trite, but can you walk? I cannot as I have been in a wheelchair since July, and want nothing more than to walk...sometimes, it is hard to find our blessings, I know, but that is when we have to dig deep...big hugs, J
  3. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I am sorry it hurts so badly that you want to die. It sounds excruciating. I am glad you were able to reach out and share your pain with us, I hope it helps to know that others can relate to what you are feeling and going through. I am listening, please let me know what I can do to help.

    take care,

  4. barto

    barto Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now. I've had those days. Please PM me if you ever need somebody to listen or vent to.
  5. Miu

    Miu Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, I feel terrible about being suicidal when I know people like you who got a so much harder living than me. I hope you can forgive me for feeling this way and understanding. I hope you can get up on your feet again :hug:

    And to swimmergirl and FragileSmile; thanks for caring!
    I just wish I knew a way I could make progress towards something less painful that this existence..
  6. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Is there anyone in your personal life you can tell about these feelings - it is the hardest thing to do, but ultimately the strongest thing to do - to reach out and admit to those you know that all is not well, is the best way to gain some support and comfort...
  7. barto

    barto Well-Known Member

    Don't belittle your problems, Miu. Sadeyes wasn't saying that to make you feel guilty, but instead to make you appreciate the little things in life a bit more. That's a tolken of advice we could all live by. You have all the right to express your feelings.

  8. Miu

    Miu Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I have told my best friend, who is the one person in my life who truly makes life worth living, without him I wouldn't be here today. He is amazing. He came in to my life right after a suicide attempt, and I haven't attempted again because of him! So obviously I'm scared to death that he is gonna leave me..

    Yeah, I know Sadeyes didn't mean for me to feel worse or anything, I just.. do anyways. Guh, am I messing things up now or making it better? Sorry, if I'm offending anyone.. And I truly wish that I woke up everyday being happy just to live, but it's not that simple with my mental illnesses and the mess in my head.
  9. Hellfrost

    Hellfrost Well-Known Member

    I have been where you are or, hopefully, where a few times. It's hard to deal with I know. It's good that you reached out though, it shows that there is a part of you that doesnt want to end it all, that knows that life holds more in store for you.

    Im gonna go on a variation of Sadeyes' theme. Can you walk? Then the next time you feel like this, go outside and walk. Let that crisp norwegian air blow away all your troubles. And of course you can also PM one or several of the wonderfull people on here. There are plenty, including myself who are willing and happy to lend you and ear and try to help you :)
  10. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    You're not offending anyone. We all know exactly how these conversations tend to go, the apprehension and guilt from both sides. Feeling that you don't deserve to be depressed because other people may be in worse situations than your own. Don't worry about any of that here. This is no contest of oneupmanship about who has the most serious set of problems.

    I'm glad you have a friend for support. That's good. Beyond that I find it helps a lot to find simple little things in life to look forward to. Things that you would miss. A new movie or book coming out in a few months. A place that you want to visit at least once in your life.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 26, 2011
  11. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Miu, it's not about who can walk and who can't. It's all about how a person perceives their problems. And it's not right of others to judge your problems based on theirs. Only you know how you feel. People say to "count your blessings" but again that's all a matter of opinion. What one person sees as "a blessing" isn't what the next person sees. Regardless of who has what kind of problems, if two people are feeling suicidal then they are on the same level of mental stability despite their differences and both should be treated with equal importance. People have the tendency to pick and choose who they THINK has it the worst and help that person the most. And then the other person who they thought would be fine ends up hurting themselves.
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