if there was associations or else that provided, offered, support I wouldn't be looking on the net. at best, i talk some with my psichiatrist but that is not 'support' just a 'how are you coping' these days and fills out a form for medication.
Thought I'd have gotten over or at least started to look forward but no.. i am sticked in the past... three losses last year and my best friend this year (and a cousin this april) is just just just tooooooooooo much
mulitple losses can be confusing as you are still trying to deal with the first loss and then you get hit with another, and so it goes on, your mind just doesnt know which loss to deal with first, you just get emotionally drained and that makes your coping strategy less effective or non existent. its a fair bet to suggest that you will have some depression and maybe some meds from doc will help you to at least recharge your emotional battery.
sorry for your losses :console: keep reaching out here
You are right and make sense. Which to deal with first is the question..! At times i feel drained, others i just feel like running away from my body as if i had my pants on fire (literaly speaking i feel like that), i feel numb yet havent cry any of them. Many think i am a strong person where others judge my lack of crying as a unhearted person. I have no idea how to deal or face those awful things but it affects me quite some. I have lost the will to live and see no future just a work to support myself till death comes and give me relief.. far from cheerful thoughts.. a walking zomby. I come to a point where I just wanted, and still depends on the days, out of here. Dont know if he sensed my wanting out or just happend out of the blues but my son gave me a long strong hug.. didnt do that in years and felt so good.. it has helped me stick around but now i am back to square one... it is like heavy curtains have falling around me making my life a dark place. Sorry for venting but tomorrow is mothers' day and also the first anniversary of one of my losses. :ghost:
dont feel bad for venting, thats what this site is all about. i too have suffered multiple losses and its evil...sometimes i feel like the ball in a pinball machine, your mind cant process everything, the numbness could be detachment...a form of self preservation not weakness. tomorrow just heightens your emotions and maybe just tomorrow, focus on mothers day and the anniversay...so only 2 things rather than more...write down those who are not involved in tomorrow and tell them you have not forgotten them but that you need to focus on mothers day and anniversary.
see you doc..get some meds to help you cope...ask for therapy...you cant deal with this alone as its just too much. i too get told, oh but you are strong...but even strong people have a limit... :console: feel free to pm if you want to talk, but dont feel bad for feeling as you do...you are coping as best you can, you are human and everyone's capacity for pain is different.
Thank you Ice. I am seeing my psichiatrist on the 18th of this month. He will provide for medication, as always, but cant provide for psicologic support.
I feel like a time bomb, like something is about to burst and it wont be for a rebirth for sure. I'm waiting to finalize few things that should be sorted out by end of july then will then will move away. Start anew in a new place, away from the past.. but that also mean leaving my only son alone which makes time feel like shi-t. How can a mother abandon her only child? Giult trip days in-days out. Cant seem to think straight these days and it affects not only me but my work as well. :shelbi: