dont feel bad for venting, thats what this site is all about. i too have suffered multiple losses and its evil...sometimes i feel like the ball in a pinball machine, your mind cant process everything, the numbness could be detachment...a form of self preservation not weakness. tomorrow just heightens your emotions and maybe just tomorrow, focus on mothers day and the anniversay...so only 2 things rather than more...write down those who are not involved in tomorrow and tell them you have not forgotten them but that you need to focus on mothers day and anniversary.
see you doc..get some meds to help you cope...ask for therapy...you cant deal with this alone as its just too much. i too get told, oh but you are strong...but even strong people have a limit... :console: feel free to pm if you want to talk, but dont feel bad for feeling as you do...you are coping as best you can, you are human and everyone's capacity for pain is different.