help me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lkt, Jul 20, 2011.

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  1. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    every day my life just get worse, if you read my other thread you'll see my history, but to put it simple i had only one person who i could be with but now that person is dead, neither "friends" or family speak a word to me and i have to bear all the blame and responsabilities of others against my will and every day that pass on feels more painful to be alive, people were not made to be alone but i am, and it felt like i always was alone in first place is been a whole month since i could have a chat with another person, and they don't care at all, as if i'm just a burden, and i'm strarting to think they're right, i don't have anythinhg besides the internet to rely upon cuz i just don't think it's right for me to bear all this pain alone, what makes even worse, just recently i girl said she liked me, and that she wanted to go out with me, i thought that it was a light to keep on livin' but it turned out to be a prank, she made a bet with her friends that i would come see her, and after i went to the meeting place like a fool i just to be the laughingstock of the girls, and, still i'm gettin bullied, since i have a short temper i just beat out some of the bullies, but i was suspended at school, got extra work at summerbreak , my parents just didn't care, neither want to hear a word from me, and now i'm being avoided by the whole school... it made me depressed again, i just can't handle anymore and i'm planning to do it today, but somehow, i still have this will to live on, the only thinhg that kept me alive till today, i'm starting to lose this will and i went here to see if i could find some light to keep me going on
  2. NiceGuYKC

    NiceGuYKC Well-Known Member

    You're so young and have so many things to experience. Hold on and let out all your frustrations out here on the forums with us. You'll probably have the last laugh on those pr*cks one of the days. Ignore them they're not worth it. Well done for thumping those bullies, I know I should'nt say that. Try not to be violent anymore. You get a big Woohoo! from me though.
  3. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Hi lkt,

    You are 16 now. You get excellent grades. You love your brother and you know how important you are to his life. You have a couple of girlfriends and you are funny…

    You can be strong and you are going to college soon. You can then work and become independent of your parents. You will then have freedom and do what you love…

    Keep up your excellent grades. Don’t let the school isolation (or your family) situation put you down. You will only stay around the school for a couple more years. Your grades are what's important for your independence and life. So give as much of your attention and energy to you study as possible…

    Don’t let the bullies fool you. They are not as tough as they look. They may even be jealous of your excellent grades. Ignore them if you can. Their purpose is to make you feel bad. Don’t let them succeed. Be a good friend to yourself. Feel good about yourself. You can show them that you can go to places and live a better life…

    You are so young. You deserve a lot more time to explore life. Things do change. How you think and feel will definitely change. Be strong. Your cousin is with you in spirit. He’d love you to live, for yourself and for him as well. Please hang in there…

    With loving wishes and hugs :hug:
  4. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    this is everything that keeps me still here, but is really hard to bear this loneliness, i just need some human warmth, like everyone else, is it too much to ask forsomeone give you a brief moment of their affection? i am alone for many years, and i hate it, could someone, even if is just for a split second, talk to me, i am just like anybody, isn't my grades, isn't about if i'm funny or not, i just want someone to be with me, even if is just for a while
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun can you not do some volunteer work that will get you out to meet new people like at humane society or old age home somewhere where you will have the contact of people who will appreciate you and your kindness As said the bullies will not be there much longer and you will move on hun Keep talking here okay we are listening we care
  6. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    i've already tried that, but is just empty, is feels like i'm with them, not that they are with me, in the beggining it was good, i thought that i colud feel their warm, but it turned out to be the opposite, in fact i was givin' my warm to them, and it bought me some peace of mind, but when i got home, back to be alone it was like i got nothing, witch make me even worse...

    do you know how is to spend a whole month without nobody saying even "hi" to you? is the hardest part right now, i hope it doesn't get worse (if it's possible), otherwise i don't think i will be able to hang on
  7. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    We cannot control how others think or say, but we can choose how to respond to what is happening in our life situation.

    Embrace what you do have, hon. Focus on what really matters. Being a good friend to yourself is not to make demands that cannot be met in the reality for the moment. If you appreciate what you do have and do what you can towards the life you want to live, you will find yourself blessed…

    Hang in there...

    With loving wishes and hugs :hug: and :pinkrose:
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey there.. I know you feel isolated but you do get out..Take full advantage of that..Go shopping or get your hair done..Anything that will help you feel better.. I have been totally isolated for over 20 years..I only get out formy appointments and to the grocery store.. It's so bad that I have to wear a hat and sunglasses so no one recognises me.. I can't handle being caught in conversation..I'm telling you this because I think you should know you have options..You will graduate shortly and then your life will begin.. You will go to college then you will make friends.. The students there are more mature..Keep your grades up so you can get a schollarship..
  9. khaste

    khaste Member

    I don't know why do we always need other people?why can't we live on our own!I know that humans are very sociable and like to communicate with eachother but I think that does'nt mean that without other people we can't live!in my opinion you'd better to think about yourself!once I read this sentence! it's really great:
    have you ever missed yourself?If not there's something wrong with you!I think people are not really trustable and they will always do something that make you annoyed and I think the best we can do is to be friend with ourselves!it's not just words!I believe it!and it really helped me!think about yourself.if there exists a person who can be a reliable friend to you and can understand you all the time that person is you for sure!and nobody else!!
  10. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    yea, but it really hurt when you want someone by your side and there's no one to talk with you, being alone is very painful, is not like i need other people, but i need some care, since i am at my own since i was a child, so i had few people to listen to my problems, and now the few are none, so being alone all the time hurts even more than getting beat up...

    i just fought my brother (again), he was saying 'why don't you just die and let me free...' this really hit the spot, i'm feelin' so down right now that the idea to take my life just sound nicer to me
  11. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Don't listen to your brother, hon. Your brother has no idea what he’s saying. It sounds like that he’s hurting, too…

    It’s not easy. You have been doing really well. You can get through this difficult episode. Stay strong. Hang in there…

    Sending you strength, loving wishes and hugs :hug:
  12. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    i know he didn't mean it, but it was really shocking to hear that from him, it really hurt, and i'm still in pain for that.
  13. khaste

    khaste Member

    Hey come on!so why did you come to this forum?this is for finding people that can help you isn't it?I think there are lots of people here that can understand your problems and they have the same problems before(as I had your problems before and I could solve it)there are people here who need someone to support them and will support others!any way!I am one of them and I will help you(if I can ofcourse) whenever you want!
  14. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    is a good thing that someone is willing to help me, but, is only when i am here, the rest of the day i spend alone, and still hurts
  15. khaste

    khaste Member

    I know what you mean!but just don't forget that the only one that is reliable is you!
    I donno you know this or not but none of us have anyone to rely on!NONE of us!I mean it!
    and so if you believe that and still you think that you can't live then our discussion will be different!
  16. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    thx, and sorry for the burden i was to everyone here, i guess this was not a good idea, now everything is clear, i just can't go on with this pain, i just can't take anymore so farewell and hope you all find the light that i didn't
  17. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    You are only 16, hon…you deserve more time before the “final” decision…

    Like I said earlier, in another year or two, you will be able to move out…can’t you see the light at the end of the tunnel? You are almost there… Things will get better for you when you are not under the pressure or abuse of your parents. How you think and feel will change for sure…

    Please hang in there…be there for yourself when nobody else is there for you…have a look at the video clip below and see how Nick got back up when he fell:

    I like what you put in your signature. You have what it takes to be a winner, hon. Stay strong…

    hugs :hug:
  18. Payje

    Payje Member

    I found this quote today whilst taking a overdose, it made me stop and be sick, I hope that it can be even a little bit of a help for you Xxx

    "Hold on although you’re exhausted and your grasp is shaky, and you want more than anything to let go. You are beautiful and things can only get better from here, much better"
  19. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    what light, does this "light" i'm seraching for really exist, or is just a room with no way out? I've today i tried to find an opportunity to do it, but i couldn't i just don't want to fight anymore, i just want all this pain to dissapear with the burden that i am to everyone, even trying my best i just don't find even one reason to keep living anymore, even after i graduate and get able to live by myself, the scars of the present will still hurt and make me feel bad, are anyone here really sure that it'll be better soon? i just can take it and when i find the chance i'll took a gamble and see if i'll see another day
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