help me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by tinker22fly, Aug 30, 2011.

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  1. tinker22fly

    tinker22fly Member

    im 21 and should be loving my life, instead i live at home where my step dad wants me to leave. Live in a town and have been here about 18months and still have no friends and cant trust my boyfriend one bit. What do i do? How do i move on to be a happy person. The only person that keeps me here is my boyfriend but him being ex navy screws up my mind. I cnt help thinking what hes done before me, i already new hed had a threesome n i cnt stop thinking and it hurts. He also acts just like my ex who was always txtn other girls. Hes locked his fone (even tho i never checked it) he takes it with him everywhere, even to hav a shower. Wont read txts or anser the fine when im near n when he does look at his fone he tilts it away. Iv also woken up to hime being on his fone in the middle of yhe night when he was just 'checking the time' its taken him so long to start ackting like a boyfriend i felt like we wur making progress. When he drinks he gets mortal n to the point he cnt remember what hes done. How do u trust someone who does this? Now the footballs back on hes always guna be going out. He also likes his lads hols n has friends up n down the country who he sees how can i trust him when he goes away? I dnt wana feel like i only hav one person in my life. I also dont want to feel like that person isnt ryt for me. He always goes on about how much of a catch he is n im spoilt to be with him. All i want is somebody to hold me cudle me n kiss me. He doesn do any of these. How do u know when ur being irational? Sometimes i know ive been unfair but sometimes he blames me for stuff n iknow its not my fault. I feel like i dnt hav anybody. I wnt to cut to let out some of the hurt but would be too ashamed if anyone saw. I had an attempt 3 years ago, a cupboard full of tablets and alot of drink. Unfortunatly i woke up a few hours later being violently sick. I dnt know if i could try it again but i really want to. I dnt want to be here. Its not just boyfriend troubles please dont judge me as a silly little teen with a 'tragic love life' i feel like im here alone n even feel myself my reasons for wanting to die are shalow but i cnt help how i am
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi, and welcome! Nice to meet you and read your introduction. Glad you have figured out how to use SF - creating posts and such. Takes a while, I reckon! It did for me too. :hug:

    All the best....Mr. A
     
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you must get a new boyfriend.
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    tinker I so feel for you..I've been there..done that
    and I think you're being very rational.

    trust your instincts!

    if it doesn't feel right for you then don't walk away.. Run!!

    anyone who tells you he is a wonderful catch and you're lucky to be with him has an ego problem and is controling you by manipulation

    My ex BF was like that and I finally found enough courage to leave him.
    shoulda done it years before..

    You deserve better ..
    so get those running shoes on and find happiness again with someone who will treat you with respect.
    *hugs*
     
  5. tinker22fly

    tinker22fly Member

    thank iv, how do u move on? I dont want to be on my own again
     
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