So, as many of you know, I am married and have two little boys ages 2 and 1. I have also been struggling with depression and anxiety for some time now. Recently, all the crap that I have been dealing with landed me a 4 night stay in the local mental institution because I tried to blow my brains out (and when that was prevented, I then tried to OD unsuccessfully). Here is where I emotionally am at with my life. I am standing in front of a brick wall (which would lead to a path of happiness normally, not anymore) and death is behind me. To my right is a path that leads to divorce and uncertainty. To my left is a path that leads to giving up my children and emotional turmoil for the rest of my life. There is a chain around my throat that is bound to the wall. The chain is tight, choking me. Every time that death grabs my hand and tries to pull me to him, the chain recoils and whips me right back in front of the wall. I have the key to take off that chain (stop taking my anti-crazy meds) but a tiny voice (my husband) is screaming and begging me not to. The chain will let me take which ever path I choose to, but will not let me go with death. So what do I do? Do I let the chain continue to choke me until I stop breathing? Do I go left or right? Or do I finally give into death's siren call? What do I do?