So, i'm not exactly well 20 or anything like most people i've met here, infact i'm still a teen. 17. anyway. i was at my friends Party, they are a big family and alot of strangers where their, luckily they are the type of people that you get on with even if you don't think much of them, all of them quite understanding and nice wouldn't want to start a fight type thing. well it's Jason's (my best friends Birthday) and Wendy ( the same best friends mother's Birthday too) i was having a really good time.. you know alcohol pretty dresses laughing and joking me i always go everywhere at the party's so i was upstairs and downstairs talking mainly to my best friend and her older sister. then her sister tell's me Jason who is i think 24 now has a big thing for me. this shocked me cos i've always sorta thought he was cool without admitting it. either way shock or not i learned just how much a thing he had for me not to long after when he sat me down and took my hand telling me. me i have no idea how to react to that, mabye the fact i'm still praticaly with somone put me on edge or the fact i might actually have feelings for the guy. i'll never cheat, but i can't hurt anyone either... infact it's one of the reasons i have problems admitting to things... which often create white lies.. and everyone knows what they turn into after a while. anywhoo, i tell him to sober up then talk to me and forgot about it to continue the night. it was still quite early around 11pm i had just help drag an uncocious John ( very old friend) to his bed and went to sit in the living room with wendy. Jason came in and he was angry at somthing.. he was well past being tipsy now and looked at me grabbed me and wouldn't let me go whispering into my ear, at this point the person i was with stood there trying to controll himself while i tried to get him off. he was telling me to leave him, i didn't relise it then but i knew i hurt him with what i said earlier... i told him to basicaly wait untill morning knowing he would never even talk about it sober and that would be the end. so i went home. next day he texts saying sorry it was a joke.. so boyfriends still not pleased and starts getting mad at him saying things to him that aren't exactly good for me. then i ended up saying sorry still wanting to be friends knowing i'm not sure wether to love Jason or the one i'm with because, i'm not sexualy atracted to this guy anymore i was i loved him.. i donno what happened and i think i'm mean for even going this way, it seems slutty and evil.