I know I'm not alone feeling like this. But it feels hellishly indulgent moaning about all that's wrong. I can't moan anymore. My Uncle killed himself and it destroyed my family. I'm not in a good place tonight. We have a small business and I went to see one of our employers. Sister is...sorry I can't think...I'm just typing as I'm thinking. I will not kill myself. I can't put my parents through that. I was gonna call a helpline. But I can't trust anyone to think they care. Felt like this for years. My dad sold his shotguns...he's always optomistic. I find it impossible. How many times have I written I? Feel so selfish. Sorry....I should shut up...sorry. People have it a lot worse off than myself.