Help please I have been suffering with suicide idealization for going on 35 years

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Babe6778, May 17, 2016.

  1. Babe6778

    Babe6778 New Member

    Help I'm 49 years old and I am tired, tired of life. After 28 years of marriage I left my husband 1 1/2 years ago for my best friend. She is everything to me. I'm sitting tonight after a weeks hospital stay with her as she had a tumour remove from her kidney. She suffers with PTSD and today she had the start of an episode. She has given up she wants to kill herself. We both have our own therapy and Drs. When we are on a good day we are great and normally when one is having a bad day the other will be strong and help. I have family, I have loved ones but they can't help. She promised that she would not harm herself tonight and see her therapist in the morning after that she plans on killing herself. I have sat vigil watching the sun go down and now back up. I still have 4hours before her appointment and I'm trying to hold myself together. I've been fighting the urge not to kill myself. I know my mind is lying to me but I can't hear those words. I can say them to her and mean it but I can't make myself HEAR the words Depression lies.
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi, and welcome to the forum.

    What you are doing for your friend is amazing! She is lucky to have you in her life to support her through these things; especially when you struggle yourself.

    I hope you find some support here, have you checked the chat rooms?

    Please do not harm yourself, can you contact your own therapist and get a talk with them? This sounds like it has taken it's toll on you as well being there for her