Help please.... im ready to give up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by confused2008, Jan 21, 2008.

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  1. confused2008

    confused2008 New Member

    Hello. I feel like crap and really dont know where else to turn so I've come here. Recently a month ago I found out I was pregnant and having a miscarriage. Even though it wasnt the right timing because im in school right now it still really bothers me that we lost our baby. It bothers me alot, especially since this happened 3 1/2 years ago as well but with someone I didnt love nearly as much. Well my boyfriend was here for me for the first few weeks after I found out we lost our baby but now he's completely changed his mind. Keep in mind back in october he told me he wanted to marry me and took me shopping to look at engagement rings & we even picked one out we both liked but he never bought it. Now all the sudden out of the blue he tells me he doesnt even know if he loves me or not he thinks so but doesnt know and doesnt know if he wants to spend his life with me or not. Well thursday night he ended up breaking up with me for good and it really hurts to have lost my baby and now him too. They were the 2 good things in my life that kept me going. I know he's going through a lot of stress because he has a 3 month old baby with his ex and says he doesnt want her anymore and he's taking her to court right now for visitation, but why take it out on our relationship? I dunno what to do anymore. Ive been so upset and cried constantly since we started arguing last week and even more crying since he left me. I feel like i dont have anything anymore... Ive lost my baby, lost him, really dont have any friends, my parents yell at me constantly when i dont do anything at all wrong, school sucks and ill never pass state boards after i graduate next year if i do cuz my school is dumb and doesnt let us do anything to learn just a bunch of nonsense busy work thats not helpful. I have promised myself before that if things didnt work out between myself and this guy that I wouldnt ever be with anyone again and wouldnt ever try to have a baby again if it wasnt going to be with him. I just dont know what to do anymore and really want to end my life right now. Im not happy at all and nothing is getting better. I feel so alone and hurt so bad. Please somebody reply to me??
     
  2. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    Thats horrible you poor thing. I wish i could tell you i know how you feel, but no one has ever loved me enough to break up with me to begin with. My parents do nothing but argue at me either, so im in a state where i always just feel alone. same as you. im really youre going through what you are. you sound like you deserve better than that. i have another friend is sort of going through the same thing right now, i can only imagine how hard it must be. if youd like, i have msn, my email is sonicthehairball@hotmail.com id love to talk to you about it. or pm me anytime. you deserve better than this and while i cant promise things will get better for you i can promise you that no matter how bad things get if you ever need a hand to hold because youre scared of being alone, ill be that hand..
     
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