help please...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by John6491, Apr 13, 2007.

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  1. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    Im so worried right now and im crying... my mom got into a car wreck this morning and ran into a wall... she has terminal breast cancer and hasn't been doing good at all so this could kill her... im having to wait for my dad to go to the hospital and i dont know what to do.... im a fucking wreck and im afraid this might be the last time i see her alive... i cant take this its to much.... :cry:
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your mum, and also her accident.

    How was she physically after the crash? (aside from the terminal cancer). Why do you think this might accelerate her illness?

    If you think this might be the last time you see her, maybe you could write her a letter telling her how you feel about her or something like that, and then she will be able to read it over and over. Maybe take her something as a pressie, like a cuddly toy. ie, if there is something that is associated with you, then maybe try and give her something related to that, like I like care bears, so I might give a care bear. That kind of thing. It might bring you both comfort to know that a bit of you is with her, even when you can't be with her physically.

    I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Hang in there. I hope that she keeps fighting.

    Thinking of you all
  3. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    She has been doing really bad lately and we have been guessing she didnt have much longer to live... and so her being in this car wreck might just kill her once she is physically weak..... chemo takes a lot from her.. bleh i cant think right now about what i am saying.. ill be back l8er
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Take some time and look after yourself, if you want to come back and write more, then do :)

    Hopefully, whilst this has stressed her mind, hopefully her body is not too stressed and will keep fighting on just that bit longer.

    Thinking of you
  5. sadsong

    sadsong Staff Alumni

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I really liked Scum's idea of writing a letter to her, let her know how much you care about her. I guarentee she would really appreciate it and treasure it. Let us know how she is doing.
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I'm truly sorry to hear about your Mother, John :sad: :sad:
    Please let us know how she's doing...

    If you ever wanna talk, feel free to PM me, or add me to your msn.
    I really wanna offer you a listening ear, mate :hug: :hug:
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear about your Mom John. Writing her a letter is a wonderful idea. Tell her how much you care for her. You could include some favorite memories of times you spent together, funny stories, things that meant a lot to you, things like that. I know what it is like to watch a loved one go through the process of chemo. It seems as though they waste away before your eyes. I know you said she is weak from everything, but try to keep hope that she will overcome the effects of the accident. You don't mention if she was injured, or if you did, I missed it. Maybe things will be better than you thought they would. I am keeping your family in my thoughts. take care John. :hug:
  8. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    just got back from the hospital... well i found out the car wreck didn't hurt her but she has 2 golf ball size tumors on her brain because here cancer spread and there is no cure for it and the doctor is really against going for brain surgery... so basically my entire family and my sisters b/f family is going to be with us at the ICU room for the next week.. we really dont know the full status or how long she will be there or how long she will even be alive... so yea im basically crying my head off and so bleh..
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 14, 2007
  9. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member


    I'm so sad and sorry to hear about your Mom. I know this time is very difficult for you. And, cry...cry as much and as often as you need to. Let it out...its very healthy. oh heart aches for yours. John my wish and prayer for you is that you will cherish these moments with your mom and family. You need each other more now than ever. Stay close. We're here for you. Please let us know how you're doing.

    We care!

  10. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    I'm sitting in the icu room right now with some of my family. I saw the pictures of the tumors and the doc is siporiard she can actully function once there is so much stress on her brain. She is getting a petscan right now looking for more tumors. We are going to have a family talk about what we want to do I think we are going to send her to a hospis for a while but we don't know. Most of my family will be here tomorrow for family meeting so yea... I'm using my phone to check sf so feel free to send me a PM or whatever I can read it from my phone

  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you are surrounded by family. Hopefully you can support each other.

    If you ever want to chat, my PM box is open.

    I will be thinking of you all.

    Look after yourself honey
  12. sadsong

    sadsong Staff Alumni

    I'm so sorry to hear that her cancer has developed further than you thought. It is good you have your family around you. It's ok to feel upset, angry, sad, just generally emotional. I can assure that hospices are amazing places, and that the care people recieve there is top class.

    You're in my thoughts
  13. i dont no what to say, sorry. but i want you to no that i am really thinking of you and your family at the moment.
  14. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    Well it seems that the meds they put her are are reducing the swelling around the tumors but its not stopping it so its only giving her a few weeks to live prob... we go back tomorrow to have a meeting with the doc that just did a petscan to tell us if there are other tumors in other parts of her body which he says he wouldn't be surprised if there were... We are supposted to have one of the best neurological surgeons talking with us Dr Martin Lazar or something like that. I meet him today and saw the x-rays of the tumors... they look bad.. really really bad... but he is against surgery and i can understand why... i mean my mom has lived with breast cancer for 3 years and he doesn't want to put her through anything more... because if they get the tumors out they have to radiate the head or something to make the other ones show up and then do more surgery to get those out... its not good at all and i know my mom wont want surgery...

    And being in that hospital makes is so much worse for me because everyone in the ICU waiting room have been there for a while... some people i saw have been living there for a month and another group for 2 weeks... its so hard to not get on the elevator and leave for a while... They talk about why are they there and it makes is sound so much worse than my moms and it makes me think that my mom could get even worse from some of what the people are telling me... Its really depressing and i hate going there and having to talk to people and hearing how bad they have it and stuff... it sucks... :cry:
  15. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    im in so much pain right now and i cant stop crying... i just dont know what to do right now... :cry:
  16. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: John.

    Sent you a PM, remember what it says, hun.

  17. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    Well the petscan shows that there are more tumors and most of them are small but there is no hope of stopping them now :( .... we will spend as much time as we can with her in her last few weeks to live... :( i prob wont be on that much...
  18. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry John. I too lost a parent when I was a teen so I know how hard it is. Spend as much time with your Mom as you can and don't leave anything unsaid. Also, if you believe in God (or even if you don't) start praying, for your Mom, for yourself, for your family. Miracles can happen and if not, it may give you some peace. Please take care, and don't feel bad for not wanting to spend all your time in ICU. It's terribly depressing and the sadness there is palpable. Of course you don't want to be there; nobody does. Take care of yourself.

    All I can say is that although it doesn't seem like it now, you will get through this; you will laugh again; you will wake up and smile again. PM me if you need to chat with someone who has been through something similar.
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