I have a lot of mixed feelings. So my boyfriend (Let's call him E) has this high school friend (Let's call her A) and recently these past few months they've been hanging out more and talk more often. She knows me and I've met her before and she seemed like a nice person. And like, this would be completely fine if it weren't for the fact that she's a threat to his mental health. I'm really worried about him. He's dealt with an abusive friend/ex in the past and he's told me that his interactions with A reminds him of his abusive ex. I've heard the things A's said and done and it's just giving me all kinds of red flags. A is also going through some stuff of her own but she dumps it all on my bf and just in general guilt trips quite often. Every time he talks to her he feels really upset and it's bringing back up his unresolved trauma. I love him to bits and pieces and I want to help him and be here for him but I don't know how.
Recently, A revealed to him that she's romantically interested in him and thought they were "on the same page." But, here's the thing. A has a boyfriend and she also KNOWS me and E are dating. After hearing this, a lot of the things she's said made more sense. Telling E that hes her favorite person and getting upset telling him oh but she's not his favorite. Her always wanting to hang out and E not being able to say no because he has trouble with boundaries even when he really didn't want to but he was scared of how she'd react. Part of it is fear that if he stops talking to her she'll kill herself or something. E keeps obsessing over her and being constantly reminded of all the abuse from his ex that he doesn't even acknowledge as trauma or abuse and says he's fine when he's clearly not. He's told me the things his ex has done and said and it sounds absolutely horrible. To this day, his ex messages him every single day saying really bad things and he reads them. He doesn't answer but he can't make himself stop reading the messages. He's obsessed with it. He says it's because it comforts him to know that she's still alive.
Also, I don't think she likes me. Not because of me or anything but literally just because I'm E's boyfriend. When I hung out with E, A, and her boyfriend, she wouldn't look at me. I thought I was imagining it but E said he noticed too.
After her revealing she was into him and E saying he doesn't feel that way she cut off their friendship (this is like the second time). She's a really unstable person. Later in the day she kept calling him over and over and he wouldn't pick because deep down he doesn't want this to keep going, but in the end, he felt guilty and gave in and now everything is back to "normal." He's like oh everything is fine now, but I know it's just going to keep happening.
And honestly I'm pretty mad too. I don't want to get my own feelings involved in this but the fact that E is still friends with someone who was trying to cheat on her boyfriend and kind of encouraging him to cheat on me too? That's pretty messed up and it hurt me. She was even telling him like "you've known me for all of high school and you've only met him a year ago and yet you're closer to him and with him??" as if implying that our relationship isn't as important because she's known him longer.
I don't know what to do.
Recently, A revealed to him that she's romantically interested in him and thought they were "on the same page." But, here's the thing. A has a boyfriend and she also KNOWS me and E are dating. After hearing this, a lot of the things she's said made more sense. Telling E that hes her favorite person and getting upset telling him oh but she's not his favorite. Her always wanting to hang out and E not being able to say no because he has trouble with boundaries even when he really didn't want to but he was scared of how she'd react. Part of it is fear that if he stops talking to her she'll kill herself or something. E keeps obsessing over her and being constantly reminded of all the abuse from his ex that he doesn't even acknowledge as trauma or abuse and says he's fine when he's clearly not. He's told me the things his ex has done and said and it sounds absolutely horrible. To this day, his ex messages him every single day saying really bad things and he reads them. He doesn't answer but he can't make himself stop reading the messages. He's obsessed with it. He says it's because it comforts him to know that she's still alive.
Also, I don't think she likes me. Not because of me or anything but literally just because I'm E's boyfriend. When I hung out with E, A, and her boyfriend, she wouldn't look at me. I thought I was imagining it but E said he noticed too.
After her revealing she was into him and E saying he doesn't feel that way she cut off their friendship (this is like the second time). She's a really unstable person. Later in the day she kept calling him over and over and he wouldn't pick because deep down he doesn't want this to keep going, but in the end, he felt guilty and gave in and now everything is back to "normal." He's like oh everything is fine now, but I know it's just going to keep happening.
And honestly I'm pretty mad too. I don't want to get my own feelings involved in this but the fact that E is still friends with someone who was trying to cheat on her boyfriend and kind of encouraging him to cheat on me too? That's pretty messed up and it hurt me. She was even telling him like "you've known me for all of high school and you've only met him a year ago and yet you're closer to him and with him??" as if implying that our relationship isn't as important because she's known him longer.
I don't know what to do.