Help Please

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by MagicFerret, Jun 19, 2011.

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  1. MagicFerret

    MagicFerret Active Member

    Hi everyone, well i am having a very low period i was so scared of myself (cutting my wrists again or overdosing) i have booked myself into the crisis centre where i have someone to talk to face t face 24hours a day. However here i am lying in be and really scared all i can think about is how can i ill myself. I don't want to love anymore i am so tired of hurting inside, i am useless and a failure in life, i don't know what to do. i feel i need tied down to the bed. A big issue for me is when i have money i cant help but spend it on useless things instead of bill sand paying debts off. I know i should be doing that . Any ideas from anyone would be helpful. maybe if i could stop spending money on bad stuff i could stop feeling suicidal and rebuild my life. I thought about opening a basic account and just sending a certain amount into it each month so thats all i have. maybe cut my bank card up so i cant use it. Then the money will be safe. has anyone else had this problem. I think this is a huge cause of my depresion
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    can you not get someone in your family to help manage your finances Get the bank to set up automatic payment plans and to allow you only so much money out in a week or day. That is what we have done with someone in my family It is so hard when money triggers you get the help of the bank or get a power of attorney to look after you money okay so you don't blow it on the wrong things. hugs
  3. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i can somewhat understand your money problems.
    i have a gambling problem and also buy shit of ebay.
    i only have a disability pension which is 900/400/90000 - dollars/pounds/yen every two months and that just covers my medical bills. diabetes being damned expensive.
    my wife is the sole income earner and she is under a lot of stress. we have had to be bailed out many times over.
    so we handed all our finances over to my wifes sister - but i still spend whatever i get my hands on.
    it often sends me into a spiral of depression and suicidal thoughts.
    its a habitual thing - i can go without and dont need to waste so much.

    my only advice is find someone you really trust - most likely family and explain to them and ask them to help you. dont be too strict on yourself. allow a little for waste or playing with. but by using someone else it will feel embarassing asking for money to waste and if you get them to balance your bills with you they and you can see where it all goes.

    i really deeply understand your position as i do exactly the same and feel the same afterwards.

    goodluck, take care and stay safe and healthy.

    if you would like any more detailed advice feel free to PM me as i really do understand the rollercoaster youre on.
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey Magic Ferret. Wish you were feeling better than you are - but maybe you will be by the time you read my input.

    I'm glad you sought help - and I hope you use your time to hopefully stop idealising suicide as an answer.

    First off - you are right about money problems leading to depression. I know rich people get depressed also - but poverty is a real nasty thing when you let things spiral out of control.

    First off - cut up your credit card and cancel it. The banks will throw credit at you because the rate of interest they charge is making them trillions. Overdraft charges also - these pile up and many are pretty much working a day to just pay the banks debts.

    You need a debit card - your own bank will give you one which you can manage from your main account. A debit card has no way for you to get overdrawn - you can top it up as and when you need to spend money. I find tons of savings online - so think a debit card is a must as what little money I have needs to go a long way.

    I would also advise you to join a credit union. There are many in Scotland and will be one near your patch. These allow you to borrow at very kind interest rates but promote saving. You can borrow up to twice what you have in the account - more when your record improves. It is ideal for people struggling - as you can save small amounts - and even a couple of pound per week helps.

    If you are working - or travel about a lot locally - consider a bicycle. Anyone single who has a car - ditch that and buy a scooter. They go for as cheap as £500 - but there are lots of second hand ones.

    Stop eating takeaway food. I've even stopped my once a week 'treat' from the chip shop. I'm not paying £3.40p for a battered fish that looks it was actually battered all of its sad life before being caught, several months ago, and sitting in some giant freezer until a mug like me goes for it. They are selling fish so old that we might find some that knew Noah in the great flood.

    Visit charity ships - or market stalls and car boot sales. I've found some great bargains there and decorate my place on the cheap by picking up things and bartering.

    Anyhow I'm sure you'll pick up these things once you get a bit better in yourself - you have recognised your own recklessness with money so can take action to make sure you manage things.

    Many might have a other half who manages things but its a skill-set we ought to all learn. Credit cards are BAD NEWS - because it is so easy to lose yourself in buying stuff you do not need. With a debit card - you can 'window shop' for stuff - and keep a careful eye out for things you might need and save up for them.

    I hope other areas of your life can be established once again on a positive footing. Education perhaps? You can never be too educated. Not sure of work or aspirations to any - but get yourself well first - take things a step at a time - and maybe talk to a few others in the crisis centre now that you are there.

    I guess you will be out a lot sooner if you chat to others and show signs of being a bit on top of your game then you'll let out. Things is - not to pretend because that would be stupid. Stay until you feel a bit more social perhaps.

    So - cut up the credit - get a debit card with a current account - organise online banking as that makes it easy to manage things. You can then put money into a credit union account from the comfort of home or work - save up to buy something - and ALWAYS have an emergency nest egg for the unscheduled failure of fridges, cookers, freezers, computers and so on.

    When you are in control of your finances - depression is less likely to be able to drag you down by virtue of all those red letters demanding payment. Bills pile up - we get more stressed by it - banks throw us a lifeline in the form of credit but its just a trick to suck up more cash off you.

    With online banking you can set up direct debit for your gas, electricity and water - also for council tax and rent (if you are working - or renting) Mortgages are another thing - I never had one myself - always rented.

    If you do not have to worry about all the basic bills - life is so much easier.

    I know people who still run about every week paying water here, gas and electricity there - council tax another place - its just wasted time and often wasted money as people drive to pay these bills.

    Direct debit usually saves you a few pounds.

    Pre payment meters or pay as you go are a rip off - best get direct debit on a quarterly bill - which means being disciplined and not spending the cash you may pay each week.

    Anyhow - get well and well discuss how to live more cheaply but still eat very well and dress decently.

    Good luck and hope your health improves.

    PS - you are not a failure in life - you know what must be changed and will embark on that course which offers opportunity to succeed at something.
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