help please

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pollo, Apr 29, 2012.

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  1. Pollo

    Pollo Well-Known Member

    i feel so desperate, i have tried everything. depression is back. I am so alone, no one cares and i am seriously thinking about OD. I have strong meds which I know could kill me.
  2. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    You say depression is back which sounds as though you have got through it once.Sometimes things can trigger it back and you just have to put into place things that have made you better and building that strength back you had.Talk to your doc again about it.please dont od as this isnt the solution.Keep reaching out here also which can help as you will find support.
  3. tktktk43

    tktktk43 New Member

    Their is no need to kill yourself. It won't solve anything. Desperation, Depression, Suicidal thoughts and attempts I've been through all of them. You want to know how I got through them? Easy, I killed myself. You see, death doesn't mean you have to stop breathing. If in the heat of the moment you feel like killing yourself think to yourself that you are already dead. That now and forever, you no longer exist and that the only thing you are is a shell. An empty shell. These are some very negative things to be telling yourself but it would at least help save you from doing something stupid in that particular moment. I usually find that after giving myself a day or so I would realize certain things and not want to take my life. Of course, because I have a severe case of depression I would always end up trying to kill myself over and over again. But eventually, I realize that emotionally and mentally I have killed myself so many times and that death wasn't going to solve anything. Death became irrelevant and seems very foolish. I guess... I got tired of killing myself. I became wiser and started to think more and rely less on impulse as time goes on. To this day I still get depressed but I have very little suicidal thoughts and if I do they don't amass to anything. I found little things I can focus and concentrate on when I get stressed out. I feel like I have the majority of the control over my well being now. Your biggest enemy is yourself. You must not give up and reason yourself out of it every time; I know it's hard. But every time you do so you will feel that much more powerful. I hope you the best. The fact that you took the time to create this thread means that you want help. The act of creating this thread and expressing yourself should somewhat give you a relief of some sort whether it's miniscule or not.
  4. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    I'm in a very similar situation (relapsing.) The past few weeks have been miserable, but I'm trying to think back to the times I felt good. I assume you felt good once before - which means it IS possible to feel good again. Don't take the pills - trust me, I've been down that route and it leads to pain and humiliation. Luckily I didn't experience much of the former, but I think the amount of the latter made up for it. OD'ing is extremely slow and painful - I heard people tell me that all the time when I'd make threads like this - but I took no notice, because my mind was set on it. But it will be unbearable, so please reconsider. Try to think back to how you felt good before, and focus on that. I hate feeling like I have rely on medication - but I'm currently giving anti-depressants a go and hope they work. Seriously, you have many years ahead of you in which you can kill yourself - no need to jump out right away. Put it off and ask yourself do you truly want to die? If there's ANY doubt at all - try to listen to the quiet voice in the back of your head.. if you take the pills and succeed - you won't get a chance to regret it. I know it feels like a rational thing to do right now - I know because I've felt that way too - but it usually ends up with me doing something 'stupid', and soon regretting it.. and then looking back and wondering how I lost control, and thinking about how irrational it was of me.

    Hang in there. I'm probably rambling on and on about nothing - but you can pull yourself out of this. Nothing any of us say can do it - you just have to find the strength in you somewhere to get back on your feet. Just think - if this is your rock bottom, you've got nowhere to go but up.

    Would you like to talk about what's going on?
  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hi Pollo.. Sorry the Beast of depression has you tightly by the vital parts... Can be a real beast.. Will say again that thing you need to reach out to your dr. And ask for some help now.. Also talk to them about what is causing this now and see if that can be helped..

    Polo, we are very Pro Life on here.. You reached out here for some help.. That is so much better than the alternatives.. Keep talking please.. TC, jim
  6. I was thinking about this previously when I whined so badly about wanting to kill myself previously.. I have so much of energy to wanting to kill myself and I did use the energy and keep running around the streets and parks until I was so exhausted and I went home, feel so much better..

    Pollo :hug: don't give up, tell your doctor about it and please don't OD. Keep talking to us here.. I can be up all night for you here if you want.. :hug:
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