Help pls I don't know what to do! my lifes in shambles.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Michaels_, Aug 27, 2012.

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  1. Michaels_

    Michaels_ Member

    I am having a SERIOUS life crisis and don't know what to do. I'm a very confused guy and on the verge of doing something to myself.

    I am 34 and for the past 18 years been out of work. Yes I said it correct ....18 years! why? I have suffered SEVERE
    abuse as a child which has left me crippled mentally. I have attempted suicide 3 times and almost succeeded once and been
    under the doctor officially for the past 18 years. They have helped me but it took a very long time for me to get better.
    I am at the stage now where I want to try and make something of my life and not just carry on being and doing nothing but
    I really don't know where! I do not have any real skills or anything else.

    You may think I have done this to myself being I have been out of work for so long but believe me it has been beyond
    my control. If I could had worked years ago I would had. I did certainly but failed many times but it seems now I have
    left it wayyy to late in the day to try and get my life together and especially with the economy the way it is there
    probably could not be a worse time to find opportunities.

    Sorry if this went on for so long but please help me I think if I don't get something
    together! I not sayin it for attention but to give you an idea how serious this is for me. What would YOU do if you were me?

    I need someone to hit me with the brutal truth......not some happy go lucky b.s. am I finished? I rather be hit
    with the truth than carry on delluding myself that I stand a chance in life at this point.

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2012
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honey, Hi :)! As you've given permission to be hit with the truth....... um, I'm not wanting to hit you at all!! But the truth is there for those who are open to receiving it..... And there is Objective Truth that has the power to free us from our ills (whatever form these may take for each individual life) - and then as well there are opinions from people who don't know you, only the tiny bit above that you've shared, and thank you for sharing it and reaching out for help to keep safe, in the midst of your circumstances.

    So, I'll offer my OPinion..... firstly, very, very sorry and sad for the abuse that you suffered as a child that left you mentally crippled. I do know what that is like, and I sympathise totally, because I know how horrible it is, hun.

    It is SIMPLY AWESOME that you want to make something of your life. I'm wondering if you could speak to a sympathetic professional person who could point you in the right direction, who understands your past experiences?

    You are certainly NOT finished, because you have a fighting spirit that has overcome so much. It is always the attitude we take to what happens that determines the outcome. I know the importance of needing to work to keep the right attitude, it can be like a young plant breaking free from the seed and growing up towards the light through all the dirt etc. There surely would be some type of agency you could contact who could help you with your next step along the way concerning a vocation/job/training etc?

    You are not nothing as regards your being...... just doing 'nothing' so it would appear, but we are human beings and not human doings. The doing bit is secondary to our being, and you have come one heck of a long way in this :)

    So, to answer your question what would I do if I were you - I would prioritise my 'being' first of all, and reclaim my worth and value as such, and then look around to see what agency/help there is to start me off finding something to do.

    I hope that has been of some help Michaels, God bless you hun :)
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    ok my son, who suffered with agoraphobia, is in the same boat.
    First, try getting any shit job that will take you...I believe Mcdonalds will take on a chimp if it can sling a hamburger :laugh:
    If you get stuck in the same catch 22 that my son is in, i.e. need references for a job, need a job for references; try the temp agencies.
    Seems temp jobs are available in Warehouses, factories and courts for some reason :unsure:

    Once you have a crap job, or even if, with the economy as it is, you don't, get some training/education.
    It doesn't have to be degree level, apparently there is a chronic shortage of plumbers, carpenters etc.
    So hunt out courses (even if its night school) on something that you think you could stick at and sign up.
    There is hope, even in the terrible job market at the moment, it just seems to be grit your teeth, get trained and go for it.

    Oh forgot, my son is doing voluntary work at the moment, and they will give him a reference and it gives him something to put on the damned CV, so you might want to consider that as well.
  4. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    If you are looking for a way to get into the working class sector, and to get paid decent; without really having any previous background, try factory work.

    I used to work at a paint company, that paid a lot of money, and took on all kinds of cases and people; and there is a nice bonus at the end of the year, and overtime hours, and many things.

    Factory/industrial work can be all kinds of different jobs, and once you get your foot in the door, there is a possibility to switch positions in the company as well, so if you don't like what you are doing when you first get in, you can have the chance to do something better, and move up the ladder, not too long after this.

    Not every factory job will require a forklift license, or will require you to lift 50 lbs either. This is just an idea that I am throwing out there, and the same factories often need people in the shipping department, or need people in the sales/order desk department; both of which you could start from the ground up, and get paid handsomely; compared to other jobs and starting from scratch.

    This is just an idea, again, if you really are looking for somewhere to begin, and to get on your feet job wise, even if you have been out of touch with the working world for 18 years, the places and roles I just described are things that they would have to teach anyone coming in, how to do it anyway... so.

    As for your idea to use a weapon on yourself, throw the weapon far away, and never pick it up again. I know you want to run away and back out, because you just feel so alone and helpless right now; but try and give yourself one thing. Like start off with your resume... so you don't have a whole lot of experience, well make a funny resume. Boast about how great you are etc... give the employers something good to look at, something new, and they WILL look at such a resume, if it comes across as being just light hearted, and fun, and interesting etc... because their job is to sift through boring resumes all day, and interview boring people.

    I can imagine with the 18 years you just described that you are anything but shallow nor boring, and would have a lot to offer, personality wise (perhaps a sales position or order desk or shipping position???), and you likely have been around the ropes a few times now, so might just have it in you to be able to lead a team in an industrial or factory setting too, if you ever had to.

    Give yourself a bit of credit for what you do have going on here, as employers never really use anyone's background experience, at least in my past circumstances. It's not like you are applying to become a doctor where your medical history and schooling matters here. Many employers are looking for a personable person, who can do what they are told, learn it etc...

    No matter what job you enter, no matter the role; never forget that they employer still has to train you... even if they need someone with past experience with some program, or some kind of material etc... they still always have to train that new employee how to use the company's programs, and how the company likes things to be run.

    Don't forget that, and use that to try and keep your head up a bit higher... you are capable of letting someone know that you are their guy... your past may have destroyed 18 years of your life; but it may just be able to make the next 18 quite the ride for you. By this, I mean that you now have experience with dealing with emotions, and the mind, and how people function etc... these are all so very useful in the work world... no matter what position you take on.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am only familiar with services in the, there is the office of vocational rehabilation which provides work counseling, transportation and guidance...I have seen many people get the volunteer positions or internships to lead to additional education or a job...they are listed usually as OVR services...sorry if not in the US, but maybe something similar is available where you live...if I can provide any additional information, please PM me and I think it is very brave of you to want to turn this around for yourself
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Nothing is ever too late. You have the option of going back to school to get some more qualifications, maybe look at something you are interested in. Also try taking up voluntary work. It will get you into the swing of doing work and you are giving something back to the community. Okay you don't get paid, but it looks very good on a CV/resume and is a good step. I know many people who have had mundane jobs and in their 40's decided to go back to school to finally do something they really enjoy doing. It's never too late to start over :)
  7. catecholamine

    catecholamine Well-Known Member

    Like others have said, I'd look into vocational rehab or other education - an education/skill can open a lot of doors!
  8. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    Have you ever been employed? Any current source of income?

    I haven't worked since May 2003. No intention of ever doing it again.

    With how you feel, I wouldn't walk into a large warehouse through temp services.
  9. ryan2012

    ryan2012 Member

    Hi Michaels,

    The first thing to do is to not panic. Praise yourself that you are now feeling that you want to change your situation. I have been unemployed for the last 9 years (since 2003) and I, like you, am now wanting to find a way back into the workplace. It does feel intimidating, almost like being released from prison and having to adjust back into a society that has changed in a big way.

    My plan is to do some voluntary work and/or back to work schemes at the local job center or college. You probably have some similar services available in your local area. Check out the websites to see what they can offer you.

    Good luck!
  10. Astrid

    Astrid Member

    First, I am sorry for all that you went through. I can relate. I am 26-years-old and have neve rhad a job or finished education beyond high school. It's not your fault for having suffering mental health problems, but you can take charge now and try to get back on track. Is there any way you could get vocational rehabilitation services from a mental health department/center/whatever?

    Also, suppose you were not to get a job. I don't mean this to discourage you, but I am mysel fhaving to face the possibility of lifelong unemployability. Suppose that were your case too (I think it isn't, but well). What coudl make life meaningful for you without paid work? Volunteering, following an education, etc.

    I hope you will fidn some meaning in life.
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