Help seriously needed!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by SAVE_ME, Feb 11, 2009.

  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Right, I can't take it anymore. I'm gonna do something completely stupid...I'll probably be kicking myself for it afterwards but this is busting my damn gut so much just trying to keep it in, so I have no choice.

    I'm going to tell my ex that I'm still in love with her. Call me an idiot, I may be setting myself up for a huge disappointment but I've tried the "just friends" thing, and it hasn't worked. This will have one of 2 outcomes. Either she feels the same way, or she doesn't and then I can just finally come to terms with that and move on once and for all. This just isn't doing me any favours. Over the past few weeks we've been talking, and we've been getting along really well again. I mean REALLY well. I actually haven't felt THIS strongly about her since we first started dating....which leads me to believe....maybe.....just MAYBE.....there is a tiny percentage of a chance that she feels the same way. I dunno....this is really tearing me up inside, I don't wanna ruin a perfectly good friendship, but on the other hand I can't live like this forever. I just can't. And with Valentine's Day just around the corner, maybe Lady Luck wil work in my favour for once?

    I know, I know, highly unlikely, but I have to know one way or the other! I HAVE TO! I'll never be able to forgive myself if later I found out that she'd felt the same way.

    Guess at the same time I'm going to prepare myself for the worst. If she says no, then that's it. I'm breaking off all contact with her once and for all.....until I KNOW I'm 100% over her!

    I feel like I'm gonna be physically sick right now just trying to get my head around all this. Does anyone have any ideas how I could break this to her? I mean obviously I don't wanna go charging in there with "I LOVE YOU!!!" That'll just scare her away even more. I want her to take the hint, but I don't want to push her away so that she spends the rest of her life hating me. How can I break this to her gently? Without coming on too strong?

    Please, this is like a life or death situation for me.
  2. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    good luck dude! all the best but don't get ur hopes too high. :)
  3. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Thanks....and I'll try not to, gonna prepare myself for the worst too.
  4. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    if i were you, i would take it slowly. it takes time to re-build a broken relationship and not a mere two weeks of getting along well. anway it's worth a try if you feel so but please be very prepared to be disappointed and that you might wipe out the 2 weeks of good relationship. It would be better if you change for the better, prove it to her that you are worthy for a second chance and let her be the one to ask for a second try rather than you asking for it. But anyway, it's just my opinion.
  5. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    once you get used to the word no, youll be fine. no point in killing yourself over a bitch.
  6. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Bit ruff but 100% right :)
  7. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    You need to stop rushing around and think for a moment. Yes, the feelings are strong now, but you really must push those aside because those feelings are not going to last in the long term, they are only temporary. Valentine's Day isn't important, the long run is more important, right?

    What would be the worst case scenario here were you to tell her you love her? You will lose a friend and lover, and maybe make relationships difficult with the people you both know and so on. The best case get back together, right? However, I'm thinking that if there was a valid reason as to why you broke up then it was probably meant to happen. It's easy for me to say, but sometimes when you're so caught up in emotions you need someone else from outside to say it to you. Heartbreak doesn't last forever, nor is it a life or death situation. Just remember that.

    Take care and try not to beat yourself up over this.
  8. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    any updates?
  9. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet....dunno....just keep chickening out....and she was never really into me as much as I was into her, so somehow I highly doubt she'd feel the same way. What I do need to do is stop kidding myself and learn to accept the fact that it's over and will never be. Sooner I learn to do that then the sooner I can move on and meet someone who does feel for me as I do for her.

    Don't think I can bring myself to wreck a good friendship anyway. Maybe I'll just do what you said and try to be just friends for now. Maybe someday we will move onto the next level, but for now, I need to stop reading into things too much. She's most likely only being "nice" to me cause she sees me as a best guy friend. Guys and girls can be just friends after all. It's just been so hard for me to accept. I used to feel so 'special' to her, as though I was number 1 in her life. Like, out of every other guy she could've had, she picked me above them. But now I'm just "one of the rest". Been so hard for me to come to terms with, and that's my problem really. Makes me feel as though there's nothing good about myself, that makes me stand out to anyone. And yes, I know I have a low opinion of myself and you have to "love yourself before you can love anybody else" but it's just too difficult to love yourself when you feel as though you don't have a reason to, as though there's nothing to prove your worth.

    Saying that makes me come across as an asshole, I know. Sorry, I just can't help but feel that way.