no, nothing happened per se, just so much pain and no one that can help, it feels like a prison I wont ever get out of, but I didn't do anything to deserve to be in this place, i am so alone, i can't take it another day. this pain is like nothing i ahve ever experienced, i just wnt to lay down and die.
Just talk it out. Hopefully it will get better. If you decide to get high in order to numb your pain you'll end up feeling worse and more suicidal so just try to go to sleep if you stop talking. I feel alone all of the time too. Nobody in this world understands me. The only reason I don't off myself is because I know how much trauma it would cause my family. I doubt your depression will be as long as my recurring episodes because i am bipolar and i cycle at least every other month. Just try to keep your head high during the depressive phases and see what you can change about yourself in order to prevent future depressive episodes from occurring.
I am so sorry to hear that you're hurting so much. Have you talked to your therapist about how you feel? If not, that would be a good idea. The two of you could come up with a plan regarding what to do in the event that you feel suicidal, as well as develop short- and long-term goals that will improve the quality of your life and ultimately make you much less susceptible to feeling so down.
Please stay strong. You can do this. Stay alive for YOU, because YOU are worth it.
Take good care of yourself. We are all rooting for you here!
I am alone in this world as well. No one cares about me, truly cares either. I receive about 1 call for me a week. No one ever comes to visit me.
There is a concept that a successful life is not about the possesions one has it is about the family and friends one has. I have neither and that leaves me in a state of shame
Walking alone in this world is very, very painful. It helps to write on message boards such as this, a little. I get relief watching shows or movies. I get relief taking walks. I get relief when in stores to buy food or something. I have little, very little money, so I am not able to buy much of anything.
Although I get relief from those things, in the end I am again with the feeling of being all alone; I am ashamed of myself. My daughter threw me away when I got laid off in 09 because she was/is ashamed of me.
I wish so much I had a magic wand to relieve you from your pain. I so know that physical pain that emotional pain, loneliness can cause.
All we can do, as I see it, is surrender to it; to accept it. That did help reduce my physical pain, oddly enough; I am unsure why that worked. However, the looniness and preference to have my life over is still with me.
Finding things to focus on other then the pain may help you somewhat.
I think it's ok to tell someone how you're really feeling
it means you are reaching out and that's a good thing..
sometimes just getting it out there helps
have you given any thought to talking to your therapist or doctor asap?
I understand your feelings,I also live a very isolated life.I have some family but no friends which is very embarrassing but with my anxiety issues I've kind of engineered things that way.Relationships don't work out for the same reasons and suicidal feelings have been part of my life since I can remember,I'm 39 now.I wish there was an easy way to leave this life but I find myself thinking of all kinds of silly details...I've sold my flat,given up work,spent the money and I really don't have it in me to start all over again. i just don't know anymore and yet it is comforting to hear that a lot of you guys have the same kinds of experiences and feelings on this life.
Sorry you're feeling so desperate.. keep writing if it helps, you're not alone. Is there a helpline or anything you can call, such as the samaritans? Sometimes it can help to verbally express how you're feeling too.. it certainly does sound like you're in a very desperate place and I hope you'll keep yourself safe. Things can get better x