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Help someone please

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by debirat, Nov 4, 2010.

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  1. debirat

    debirat Member

    havent been on for while,hit rock bottom, me and my partner have been together nearly 2yrs,we constantly fall out ,bcos my partners son who is 14 continues to cause problems, he likes me then hedoesnt,he had came home for lunch from school today,and asked why badger (dog) was out side with door shut i said cos hes been a knobhead,son replys,aint up to you,i said i look after the dogs everyday not you,so i decide if the dog is out or in not you,got nothing but abuse back,go bk to scotland,lesbian,i cause all the trouble, so he came right up to my face and put his fist against my cheek,,so i pushed the little shit,and he shoved me back,to which i fell ova chair,more abuse too and fro,till he went bk to school,,,I CANT TAKE IT.rang my parner and left a message,she wasnt too pleased when she came home,we ended up arguein,she left and went back to work,so i now am at the edge,sitting with my medication(anti-deps)my head eager to end this misery i have stuk out for so long
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    What did she say about him abusing you, is that something that has happened before?
  3. debirat

    debirat Member

    the message i left her on her phone was brief,i didnt talk when she came home,we just arguid ,i have sent her a message on msn,abt what happened,she will get it sometime,yes its happened many times before,hes diong his best to split us up,but i cant stand my ground anymore,sick and tiredd
  4. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry and this is going to be harsh so please stop here if you dont like tough love.

    I would not under no circumstances let a 14 year old boy abuse me or anyone for that matter. How unfair for your partner to expect you to take that from him. I would lay down some law, if hes acting this way now what about in a couple of years when he can overtake you?

    I would also say that he probably needs to get some help for his anger, and he needs to realize that you are there, not for him, but to be in a relationship with his parent.
  5. debirat

    debirat Member

    exactly,thanks for your replys,but i dont think it will get better now...i done my note ,thanks debi
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im here anytime you want to talk,

    What note are you talking about?
  7. debirat

    debirat Member

    ive had that much crap happen in my life,sexuel abuse,selfharm,depression,and all the crap ive had since being here, i have wrote my mandy a goodbye note
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Please dont do this, we all have our skeletons in the closet. I can name some to so you know your not alone.

    sexual abuse
    physical abuse
    drug abuse
    mothers a drug head
    fathers a murder
    violence almost everyday of childhood

    and the list can go on and on.

    Please know that what your feeling can change, it can be controlled. Maybe a life change would work? What could you do to change your life?
  9. debirat

    debirat Member

    want me and mandy to move up to scotland(where im from) and our pets and live life to the fullest,and at the happiest,but now afta all thats gone on i want to be gone
  10. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    If she cant go with you then cant you go by yourself and make a new life there just for you. How nice it would be to focus on yourself for a change.

    I know thats not what you want to hear, but if shes willing to let her son abuse you then dont you think she should be the one to change?
  11. debirat

    debirat Member

    she is too soft, we try and make things change but it never lasts,i give up trying ,dont want to go bk up scotland alone,better off dead
  12. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Is it you would be better off dead because you wont have her or is it you would be better off dead because your tired of your life?

    I guess what Im asking is, does your relationship bring you down or life in general?

    I dont know Im not making much sense today, just want you to know that this is not the answer, what if you kill yourself then it hurts her so much that she does the same?
  13. debirat

    debirat Member

    we tryed to change things many times,it never lasts,aint going to scotland alone,better off dead
  14. debirat

    debirat Member

    done in with it all,wanted and expected a much better life than this,nothing but crap coming inbetween,need to go now mandy be home at 6 thanks again x
  15. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry you feel that way, its so hard thinking that the only way to make your life better is to end it, ironic isnt it.

    Have you ever been in therapy, or tried medications? Other than us does anyone know what you feel?
  16. debirat

    debirat Member

    im on anti-depressents again due to the streesses of this household,nobody knows......
  17. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    It must be super hard and really stressful to try and keep all this in and a secret. I wish you the strength to open up and let others know whats going on. You would be amazed at how others will understand, maybe not be able to give advice or "fix" anything but sharing it will atleast give you a little less weight to carry around all alone.
  18. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hello, sorry to hear that things are so difficult now.

    sometimes it seems like there is no way out, but there could be a way to fix the situation.

    one is to move out.

    even if you can't or don't want to move out permanently, just going someplace for a few days might help to relieve some stress. wouldn't have to mean breaking up.

    another solution might be for mandy's son to move in with his father or other relative like a grandparent.

    another might be to go to family counciling, if you haven't done this already.

    if you left mandy, why do you feel that the only option would be to go back to scotland?

    if you are really feeling like you are on the edge, you might want to check into a hospital.

    I hope that everything gets better soon
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