help? worried about a friend *trigger? not sure*

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by so_worried, Jun 12, 2007.

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  1. so_worried

    so_worried Guest

    hi everyone, i really need some advice. i have a good friend who ive known for years and went to school with who recently moved to the other end of the country. i know she's been depressed for a while and on meds and we do talk at least a couple of times a week but recently she's been saying she wants to kill herself all the time, and that she has a plan. i know shes been talking to another guy friend of ours most nights and hes sat up all night with her talking to make sure shes safe but hes away on holiday at the moment

    anyway i talked to her this morning and she says that shes got a plan for friday, that nothing can make her change her mind. i do believe that shes serious. she's taken some pretty bad ODs in the past and been hospitalised. thing is, i think because of that, she doesnt see any point in asking for further help as the hospitalisation obviously hasnt taken away these feelings.

    she says nothing that i say or do can change her mind. i can't get to where she us and i dont know what to do :(

    do i call someone? her mum lives pretty close and obviously she knows she's been suicidal in the past because she's been admitted to hospital but her mum thinks shes doing better, and she doesnt want to worry her. she refuses to talk to her mum about it, saying shes put her through enough already

    please help me :( i'm so scared i''m going to lose her and i just dont know what i can do :( i also wouldnt know who to call

    thanks to anyone who read this
  2. so_worried

    so_worried Guest

    dont know if it makes a difference but im in the uk
  3. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    might i suggest calling anyone and everyone. call her mom, call the police, call her dr. anyone. i can tell you this if u sit back and do nothing you'll never forgive yourself, and i wouldn't want to see you go thru that. your friend is worth fighting for even if she gets mad at you for a while it's worth it if she is still alive to feel that way.

    oh btw, i had been in the hospital probably 15 times at least until the last time and it was a great benefit to me. doesn't mean i still don't get down but it doesn't seem to last as long these days, and frankly i'll take it. so no, not every experience is the same. the hospital can help especially if she lets it.

    good luck and keep us posted. please take care
  4. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    This is such a difficult position for you to be in, you want to help your friend yet if you interfere you may well alienate her completely.
    I can only tell you what I would do if I were in a similar position... keep in touch as much as you can, be there for her if she wants to talk, I know you are doing this already.
    Also if you have her mum's contact details I would call her and tell her that you think your friend is not doing too well, maybe set some alarm bells ringing for her. I would also tell your friend first, that you are going to do this.
    Lastly if she tells you she has Od'd then I would call an ambulance in the belief that if she hadn't wanted help (deep down) she wouldn't have told you.
    I don't know if this is any help, I hope so.

    Take care Hazel x
  5. so_worried

    so_worried Guest

    thank you SO much, both of you. youve helped so much. i'll think about calling her mum (i know a friend who probably has contact details for her) im just a bit scared that if i tell her thats what i'm going to do she'll go away somewhere as she doesnt live with anyone and i know she doesnt want her mum to worry

    thank you so much. i didnt know who to talk to and you've been great
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