help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by _Lily_, Feb 28, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Am crashing badly
    I feel like i dont want to be here anymore ...holding on by a thread
    Want to join my dad want to OD
    help me someone
     
  2. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    Hey Dark! I feel for you. And I am here for you. *hugs*
    You deserve to live a long and happy life, hang in there!
     
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    I should be dead not my dad ...so want to end this but i cant do that ...would hurt everyone then
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Never think like that, it is very hard for a parent to outlive their child.
    Why are you crashing DarkAsylum? Any idea what triggered it?
     
  5. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I know you might want to join your dad, but i know he wouldn't want that for you, and neither do we. You can do this, love. I know you can. It's hard and it sucks ass but you're so strong. Hang in there xx
     
  6. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    No, you shouldn't. I know it hurts so much that he left but he didn't want to hurt you, he would like you to live life happily. I know that's so cliche and doesn't really work that way but I do believe it's true.
    You have people around you that care, reach out to them. They could be able to help you.
     
  7. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    I dont know what has triggered me apart from something i was watching on 4od ( tv channels on line programs ) it was about mental health and its had a small reference to suicide it showed a girl going to jump from a bridge just like what happened to my dad but she didn't jump or anything and earlier on today i had been thinking about my dad a lot more than usual i have his picture next to my bed and one picture of him beside my pc
    Been looking at them a lot more the last few days ... its unfair ... i dont understand why he had to do that
     
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Such things can trigger bad thoughts.
    Why do you think you have been thinking about him?
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I am so sorry that your dad left... and left in the way he did. I wish there was something I could say to make things better. Is there a therapist you can call to get you through this intense time? Sometimes when this stuff comes up with such intensity its part of stuff thats been stuffed inside ( because we could not deal with it all at the time). Maybe working on it a bit more with a T right now could help to move some of it. not saying the loss ever heals. But to release safely some of the feelings and trauma. I have no clue if what I am saying is applicable. But I thought i would write it in case it might be useful.

    I mostly want to tell you that I am so deeply sorry that your dad left. And that I hope you will stay here. Because, well I do not think its your time to leave. If it helps at all I would like to give you a safe :hug: Wish I could help more.
     
  10. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    My mum was talking about him on valentines day that she didn't have a rose for him and from then i have been thinking about him and his death more and more
    Keep having dreams about him as well ...
    So he been on my mind a lot

    I dont have a T at the moment am looking into grief counseling but am not that good at talking to people
    Thank you for the hugs
     
  11. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I hope you can find some relief from the thoughts. Something that can put off dealing with what is coming up. Until you can find someone safe to help you with it. I totally understand about not being good at talking to people. I am not great at it myself. Not a lot of trust that I am going to be okay if I talk. but I do think that the right counseller can be worth her weight in gold. I hope you find one of those gold counsellers.

    I really believe that it is not your time to join your dad. Maybe if you ask to have the thoughts blocked it can happen. Maybe if you asked for help to put them away for now. Imagine storing them in a special place. Maybe that can help. idk. But I am just trying to think of anything that can help.
     
  12. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    I know he wouldnt want me to do this
    But i feel am on a downwards spiral and its hard to get off it
     
  13. life is beautiful. You hate that he has done this to you so why do this to others who you are close to?

    RUBY
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.