Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Downpour, Jun 18, 2013.

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  1. Downpour

    Downpour Well-Known Member

    I need help. I don't know what else to say besides that. The doctor wanted me to go to the psychiatric ER. I declined. There's nothing they could do to help anyway. Now, here I am, so depressed, so desperate for help, and there's just nothing. I tried to talk to my husband, but he just made me feel worse. I wish I could, but I can't admit how horrible I feel. I can't let him know how often I think about killing myself because he just gets upset. I want desperately to not be responsible for keeping myself alive anymore. It's so hard to fight against these suicidal thoughts especially when the thought of suicide gives me some relief from these crushing feelings. I'm so alone. There's nowhere to turn. I'm not going to kill myself. I couldn't do that to the people that I love. I'm just pathetic. I wish I could kill myself. I wish I could want to kill myself without feeling so guilty. I can't call someone for help because there's no way to help me. I'm not currently incredibly suicidal. I don't know where I'm going with this. I just need help.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think you should listen to your doctor...if you are this much in pain then you need help...and this help may beyond what your husband can provide...see if there is anything that can be provided for you that might ease your pain...and please keep posting and letting us know how you are
  3. MikeTRobot

    MikeTRobot Active Member

    Sometimes when I feel that way I try to push all the thoughts out of my head and focus on one small thing, something that I still want to do while alive or some little thing that since, you know I'm not killing myself this moment anyway that I would want, it usually ends up being ice cream or dessert but getting your mind off your pain even for a few moments can change everything. I also like to think about if it was my last day, how would I want to spend it and enjoy it. Where would I go, some place I haven't seen in a while or one I want to see again. Then when I come up with something I try to do it, or tell myself I can't give up until this one small thing is accomplished, and that buys me enough time for the worst feelings to pass.
  4. plato

    plato Member

    Mike that is a great post and so true. Sorry to hear of ur pain downpour.
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