Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Janos, Feb 11, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Janos

    Janos New Member

    I want to say I know exactly what you mean, I felt like such a fraud coming to this site because suicide is not an option for me. But I wish it was.

    I can't accept how much it would hurt the people closest to me, I can't do it. I can't. It's gotten to the point where I'm, fuck it, I'm hoping I either die in an accident or the people closest to me do, just to set me free.

    I now that sounds awful, I do. I've never written it down before or said it to anyone. I'm not even sure if I can finish this without deleting it.

    I was hurt, badly, a few years ago. My family covered my medical costs and looked after me during my recuperation. I've been putting myself back through university, because y'know, I'm so damn strong, must be because everyone tells me.

    Now my parents are going bankrupt because of how much they're in debt, because of the money they had to pay out. For me. My mum has been off sick from work from stress.

    I'm dying everywhere inside except where I want to.

    And I can't do it. I can't even self harm.

    I didn't know where to go. Where do you go when you're so low you want to die, but you can't?? Who the fuck covers this shit?

    I'm hurting, I feel trapped without any kind of release. Not even suicide.
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hun, I can't tell you a really easy thing to fix everything, because really.. life is tough but the harder you fight the better it'll be in the future. It's a good sign that you could get up the nerve to join this forum, because beleive me at one time I didn't want anyone to know, I didn't beleive anyone could help me. I always used the easy way out, .. there's nothing for me in life, how d you know it's not my destiny to die, and so many other things. But the thing that helped me the most which isa very hard thing for people with problems like us to do but, I had to get in therapy, reach my hand out so they could help me reach out and find recover and new options.. The hardest things in life are worth it. Take care, if you ever would like to talk please know I am here. :) :hug: :hug: :hug:

  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun, I know you are feeling guilty for the debts your family now have, but let me tell you as a parent there isnt a penny I would be grudge my son and I bet your parents feel just the same.

    Have you any idea how proud they must be of you for getting to uni?

    You can help your mums' stress by being extra thoughtful, helping round the house, the odd cup of tea etc.
    Meanwhile go see your doctor about some anti-depression meds or counselling.
    When you need an ear we're always here for a cry or rant whatever you need at the time.
  4. Janos

    Janos New Member

    It helped, knowing someone was there.

  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    By the way if you ever would like to talk on MSN or Yahoo or something just look in my profile and my ID's are in there. I can't help too much but I can listen and offer, suppoer and a shoulder to cry on.

    :hug: :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.