I want to say I know exactly what you mean, I felt like such a fraud coming to this site because suicide is not an option for me. But I wish it was. I can't accept how much it would hurt the people closest to me, I can't do it. I can't. It's gotten to the point where I'm, fuck it, I'm hoping I either die in an accident or the people closest to me do, just to set me free. I now that sounds awful, I do. I've never written it down before or said it to anyone. I'm not even sure if I can finish this without deleting it. I was hurt, badly, a few years ago. My family covered my medical costs and looked after me during my recuperation. I've been putting myself back through university, because y'know, I'm so damn strong, must be because everyone tells me. Now my parents are going bankrupt because of how much they're in debt, because of the money they had to pay out. For me. My mum has been off sick from work from stress. I'm dying everywhere inside except where I want to. And I can't do it. I can't even self harm. I didn't know where to go. Where do you go when you're so low you want to die, but you can't?? Who the fuck covers this shit? I'm hurting, I feel trapped without any kind of release. Not even suicide.