I am 16 and i hate life. My family is fairly rich, i have an indoor swimming pool, we all drive nice cars. But yet im still not happy.
I just turned 16 and my mom took me everywhere to find a car to fit. I mean everywhere. We looked and looked and looked. And finally when we found one that fit, she decides to buy it right then and there. It was a brand new car, i mean wow am i lucky. In the ride home i actually had the nerve to get mad at her for not even letting me have my say if i like the car or not.
It wasnt the fact that i dont like the car, she doesnt let me decide to some extent.
Im athletic, im on the mens basketball and volleyball boys varsity team. I get along well with kids at school.
My dad died when i was 3 yrs old. He commited suicide. I never asked why ever in my whole life. I came to the conclusion he commited suicide as i got older around 7. Then my sister (18) asked me if i knew and i said i think so and we cleared that up.
He was a commercial pilot. He and my mom flew around on their free time all the time.
I guess i only feel the need to end my life because i know they nothing will take the feeling away inside me. Its the little things. My mom is the nicest woman to anyone. She does anything for anybody to this day. She does drink extremely at night to the point where i told her i am not talking to her untill the morning.
I guess you could say shes an alcoholic, and she says "its the only way to get away from stress" . I tried drinking a few times with kids at school and it was fun sure, but then i start thinking why am i doing it.
I think this is a terrible thing to say, but even though i love what my mom does for our family and spoils me with everyday, I dont think im going to be sad when she dies. I think in a weird way that she doesnt care either, and that when she does ill know that i am living my life now with nobody above me. All the stuff she owns will be split 50/50 and life will continue.
I can go weeks withought thinking about what it would be like if i werent here, or how i would end my life, or when i would. But then theres days that i couldnt be happier to live, like when i get to fly to earn my pilots license.
But its those times when i do feel the need to not want to be a part of this world anymore that when i try to remember the reasons why i live, they arent good enough to.
If you could please tell me some advice or tell me im crazy or something anything i need to hear something. A story or anything.
All the best to~~
I just turned 16 and my mom took me everywhere to find a car to fit. I mean everywhere. We looked and looked and looked. And finally when we found one that fit, she decides to buy it right then and there. It was a brand new car, i mean wow am i lucky. In the ride home i actually had the nerve to get mad at her for not even letting me have my say if i like the car or not.
It wasnt the fact that i dont like the car, she doesnt let me decide to some extent.
Im athletic, im on the mens basketball and volleyball boys varsity team. I get along well with kids at school.
My dad died when i was 3 yrs old. He commited suicide. I never asked why ever in my whole life. I came to the conclusion he commited suicide as i got older around 7. Then my sister (18) asked me if i knew and i said i think so and we cleared that up.
He was a commercial pilot. He and my mom flew around on their free time all the time.
I guess i only feel the need to end my life because i know they nothing will take the feeling away inside me. Its the little things. My mom is the nicest woman to anyone. She does anything for anybody to this day. She does drink extremely at night to the point where i told her i am not talking to her untill the morning.
I guess you could say shes an alcoholic, and she says "its the only way to get away from stress" . I tried drinking a few times with kids at school and it was fun sure, but then i start thinking why am i doing it.
I think this is a terrible thing to say, but even though i love what my mom does for our family and spoils me with everyday, I dont think im going to be sad when she dies. I think in a weird way that she doesnt care either, and that when she does ill know that i am living my life now with nobody above me. All the stuff she owns will be split 50/50 and life will continue.
I can go weeks withought thinking about what it would be like if i werent here, or how i would end my life, or when i would. But then theres days that i couldnt be happier to live, like when i get to fly to earn my pilots license.
But its those times when i do feel the need to not want to be a part of this world anymore that when i try to remember the reasons why i live, they arent good enough to.
If you could please tell me some advice or tell me im crazy or something anything i need to hear something. A story or anything.
All the best to~~