2 weeks ago I took a whole load of sleeping tablets but got the timing wrong my son came home earlier than I had thought he would and found me asleep, called his dad who called the hospital. I woke up the next day in hospital but completly out of it. because we live abroad and can't speak the language very well none of my family knew what I had done, I put it down to stress. Not sure how close I was I've found loads of needle marks in me where I had drips in but no one knows what they gave me or did to me or maybe I would have just woke up by my self or died if they hadn't found me. I went to another doctor later on that day and got myself another load of sleeping pills didn't say anything about overdosing the day before and was planning to do it all again the next day. Instead I flushed them down the sink. Now I wish I hadn't, I go to bed every night hoping I won't wake up It's not that I want to die as such I just can't be bothered to Live and I really don't know why. I don't feel I can tell anyone as I want to be able to do it again or at least keep my options open. If I knew exactly what to take to make me sleep forever I'd take it now. But I don't want to wake up in hospital and worry everyone and then have to face everybody and have them watch me all the time. Am I going mad or am I already mad.