Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Feared.Desire, Aug 16, 2007.

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  1. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I've read a lot of other threads talking about help and so on, but how does one actually go about getting the help? I don't know who to go to, to actually get the help.

    I've been classified as 'depressed' since grade 6, and its only gotten worse. In late grade 8 I was getting 'help' and diagnosed as sever depression, and suicidal tendencies. And still, its only continued getting worse. Two nights ago I considered killing myself again, (I already tried once, luckily my throat closed up and I just ended up vomiting for hours. My parents didn't notice, they were out, and still don't know.) I don't really want to die, because I know it would . . . displease others. I know things won't last long at this pace, but at the same time, I don't want help, I just need it.

    There's only one person who really knows about any of this, and even so, I haven't told either of them about recent thoughts, in fear they'll get worried, or... really, I'm not sure why I won't tell her.

    My parents have no clue, I s'pose I hide it well, and I blame my random/strange, unpredictable sleep patterns on growth, and my eating, I'm not sure, they just think I don't eat a lot. The only times I really see them is for meals anyways. Neither, do I plan on telling them. Both my sisters are doing very well (in university and so on), and always have been. They were my mothers children, and now after the divorce, my father is taking care of me. I, realistically, have a great life. As far as everything goes, I should be one of the happiest children out there, but I'm not, which disturbs me even further. So, I feel as though my sisters would look down on me, and what not if they found out. I don't think they'd handle it well.

    I tried going to my doctor before, who said she didn't think there was a problem. But then again, my doctor is useless, I didn't expect much more. I did, however, convince her to give me a therapists information. I tried going to him, and never told my father what it was for. I think he just thought it was school problems, for it was about this time I was losing a lot of my friends over my drug addiction, which he also has no clue about. The therapist didn't make me feel any better, in fact, a lot of the time he made me feel like an idiot. I stopped going to him shortly after I began, and I saw a few others, but none seriously because I didn't find any of it helped.

    I've tried taking my friends prescriptions, but that only worked for a short time, thanks to the ... substances - Prozac is now useless.

    Clearly, in some fashion or another, I need help in some way. Any ideas on how would be greatly appreciated.
    Tried posting on the depression one, but got no response, so, thought I'd try it here, just for the he11 of it.
  2. Mike Meyers

    Mike Meyers Member

    I'm not sure if there is a single person who can do all the help a person needs. I think alot of people can offer one or two good things, and hopefully they add up.

    Although it may sound stupid coming from someone on a suicide board, I have struggled with depression and decided a few years ago to tackle it with alternative therapies. I know tons on alternative therapies if you are interested. ALCAR, ALA, methyl donors, omega 3s, adaptogens, B vitamins, etc. It may sound new agey but the brain is performing trillions of chemical reactions a second. W/o the proper building blocks it will fail. I'd read a book like 'dealing with depression naturally' or 'depression free for life' if you get the chance. Then combine that info with other ways to combat your depression. My suicidal ideation isn't really depresison related, it is stress related. Stress and life changes triggers severe suicidal tendencies in me. I am not depressed right now.

    COmbined with good medication, a good therapist, good cognitive tools and luck hopefully you can put a dent in your depression.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 16, 2007
  3. flatline5150

    flatline5150 Member

    i am not religious by any means but if you believe there is a god you should become best friends with him and speak to him on a daily basis. it will work through repition i promise. never talk to him with an ugly attitude and always be thankful for the little things you do have. i am not religious...
  4. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    :hug: I'm sorry you been through soo much but always know that you got a shoulder to lean on or tear on. If you wanna talk My pm box is always open to talk please take care hun.
  5. flatline5150

    flatline5150 Member

    cann it danni boy!:biggrin:
  6. You say neither your parents or sisters (but I'm not sure they're even living with you?) know about your depression and how you feel... and when it comes to help, I've always thought that family is the first place to look. Then again, you may not be very close to them, or maybe you don't think they would understand, but being your family, they love and care about you. I'm sure they want you to be happy. So if you're looking for someone to talk to, the home is a good place to start. :)

    As for therapists, yeah, a whole lot of them won't work. I think certain therapists only work for certain people. It costs money, but if you found a good psychiatrist that you could talk to without them making you feel like an idiot, then it would be well worth it. Also, they can prescribe medication to you and try different ones if those don't work... Prozac doesn't work for everyone. Hell, you might not even need medication at all! That's also a good place to find help.

    Friends are also great. :) They listen, they care, they're there for you and share interests interests at the same time. Better than family in so many ways! Er, I mean... haha.

    I'm glad you're looking for help, though. If you feel like talking to a random person you don't know, I'm free for a PM/email/whatever, so. :) Just an invite.

    Hope you feel better soon! <3
  7. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Tell your sisters. I have a brother who is 12 years younger than I (he's 18) and I would do anything I could. It would upset me, sure, he means so very much to me I could not express it in words. But I would be there for him every step of the way, and I would be so thankful that he trusted me enough to tell me these things.
  8. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all your input and support everyone :smile:

    I have friends I talk to, which is what I would consider is keeping me here, and from going 110% insane. A lot of you are also suggesting family, and, I suppose I could talk to one of them about it...but, we have a very, funny, unserious, teasing kind of relationship... How would I go about talking to her (my sister)? I can't think of any ways to bring it up, and if I did, I have a feeling I'd do the same thing I do with my friends, and did at theropy..It gets to a certain point where I get uncomfortable, and start lying, and dismiss things I should have addressed - I have to try and get over that bad habit.

    The two people I talk to either had, or have, depression, and that's why I can talk to them..I have the feeling that everyone else would start treating me differently.. I don't want to be pitied, I want to feel better.
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