I am sure that I am living for others and not myself. Tonight is the night. I cant live for others knowing I dont belong. Knowing the damage I'll do eventually. I really dont want to end up spending my birthday in a casket. I dont want to end up in a hospital either, though theres a chance of that also. I am very confused, my morality and concept of right and wrong are out of whack at this moment. I will become a danger to society. Is it not better to rid society of me before my plans go through? Do i still deserve to live this life which I have no wish to live in the first place? I feel doing this would be helpful in the long run, though I cannot hurt my family so much.