I'm getting scared. I'm cutting so much and it gets deeper and deeper. And I'm taking OTC's to numb the pain were I cut so that I can keep cutting. Never been this bad before. But what scares me is that I'm so depressed right now that I might go to far. And slitting my wrists isn't part of the plan I have and want to put into place. So maybe I'm looking for some one to help me. I don't know. I don't even know what to say I can't think straight anymore. Every thing is so intense right now. I guess maybe going to far wouldn't be so bad. I don't know. I know the cutting makes me feel better, more in control. So maybe never mind. No promises that my plan would work anyway. Dead is dead and it doesn't matter how you get there. So never mind because I don'tcare any more. I just wanted to stay safe until the kids are back in school. But so what. I don't care when I end the pain now. Don't really need to wait.