help

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by magz74, Apr 7, 2008.

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  1. magz74

    magz74 Well-Known Member

    i took the advice of many members and i told my 14 year old daughter that i too suffer with self harm just as she does .now that she knows she has become even further away from me ,avoids the subject and almost ignores me completely
     
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    hmmm,

    when people first found out i self harmed my mum wanted to talk to me about it and i totally avoided it.

    a little while later i found out my aunt self harms as well. i had always been able to talk to her about anything but suddenly i felt a lot more comfortable talking to her about self harm. i did, however, worry that i might trigger her or give her ideas or something.

    i was a few years older than your daughter thouh and i think that makes a big difference. at 14 i wouldnt have spoken to any of my family (let alone my mum) about things like this.

    i think what i am tryin to say is to give her time. let her get used to what you have told her, remind her you are there for her....and let her come to you in her own time

    :hug: :arms: :hug:
     
  3. Lost Forever

    Lost Forever Well-Known Member

    why do you want to help your doughter personaly? i cut myself too, but if my mother tries to help me, i'll start to avoid her too and IF she says, she selfharms too, i'll start to hate her, beacause mothers always should be strong
     
  4. magz74

    magz74 Well-Known Member

    wow that was hard ..i may be a mother but i not made ov steel i have feelings too.i have suffered with si for 19 years.i can not help it if im not strong *cry
     
  5. magz74

    magz74 Well-Known Member

    now my daughter hates me........................................
     
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    no!!!!!

    NO she doesn't.

    and she never never will. she might be upset, moody, miserable...other teenage stuff :laugh:

    but she doesnt hate u hun.

    dont listen to the people who say she does xx
     
  7. magz74

    magz74 Well-Known Member

    thanku sam...i just dont know where to turn anymore i feel im carrying the problems ov both ov us
     
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    i can imagine :hug:

    my mums gone through a few problems as well as me, so i can see both sides.

    u can pm me or add me to msn if u want to talk xx
     
  9. Lost Forever

    Lost Forever Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry i didn't want to hurt you :sad: being strong always is really impossible........ don't listen to me i always hurt people
    but how can you possibly help anyone to stop self harm, if you self harm yourself already 19 years?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2008
  10. Jewel 24

    Jewel 24 Active Member

    I have to agree with "Lost Forever". When my mother told me that she is also bipolar I began to pull away from her. She was so excited to tell me and wanted to talk about with me. I just couldn't take the fact that my mom was not strong and she suffered like I did. I did not want to see her weak like that. She is supposed to be there for me. I can't even imagine having my mother tell me that she cuts herself too (though she probably does). I don't say that to make you feel bad just to give you a child's point of view. Maybe if you show your daughter how you are making it through this and what helps you she will be more open...idk just a thought.
     
  11. Lost Forever

    Lost Forever Well-Known Member

    Tanks Jewel 24, that was really what i meant to say..... mothers should be strong in the eyes of their children.
     
  12. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    sorry but that is bullshit.
     
  13. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    i can understand why your daughter might be pulling away from you. when my mom found out that i self harm, i also avoided her when she asked me questions about it. just give her some time. your daughter will start talking to you when she wants. she might be ashamed to talk to you or even maybe angry at you because you also self harm. In the meantime, does she have a therapist she can talk to?
     
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