Not sure where I should post this. I have a few things to say. You know who you are, I don't hate you and never have so do me a favor and stop acting, pretending, thinking and putting across as though I do because it hurts me more than you probably know. You said in your last post a certain person is probably happy now, and you still feel for him, well you should know he is far from happy. I'm not sure I am meant to be here either myself, look what I've driven us too as friends, everybody has a reason to hate me. I don't write poems about how I feel or long messeges. I just sit here wondering how or what I could do to make things better. I AM NUTS, MY HEAD IS A MESS AND NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS, I FEEL SO ALONE. TONIE, I CRIED TO ELLIOT I WANTED YOU BACK :cry: I FEEL NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME AND EVERYONE IS JUST PROGRAMMED TO THE RESPONSES THEY GIVE ME. I DON'T KNOW WHO MEANS IT AND WHO IS JUST TRYING TO BE KIND. I WENT AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND, I NEVER BEEN NOT DEPRESSED FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND FOR A LONG LONG TIME, SOON AS A CAME BACK CUTTING STARTED AGAIN AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. I FEEL THERE IS A BIG BALL OF EVERY NEGATIVE EMOTION THERE IS INSIDE MY HEAD AND STOMACH THAT NEEDS TO GET OUT BUT I DONT KNOW HOW, WORDS AND PAIN DON'T SEEM TO WORK. I WISH I COULD JUST BE DEAD, I AM A COWARD. USELESS, WORTHLESS, SELFISH, UN-NEEDED/WANTED, COLD BITCH. I WISH THERE WAS SOME AMAZING MIRICLE OF WORDS I COULD SAY THAT CAN MAKE MY HEART FELT BY OTHERS BUT I UNDERSTAND THERE ISN'T, NOTHING WORKS. I GIVE UP ON TRYING, IM JUST GONNA SIT AWAY FOREVER.