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  1. soonerfanbethanne

    soonerfanbethanne New Member

    I need help. I cannot go to the hospital as it would look horrible in the community. I have been so stressed/depressed/sad for a long time now and I can tell it is affecting my physical health. I am drinking to self-medicate I think as my effexor isn't cutting it anymore after 6 years.

    I'm married to a controlling jerk. It's my second marriage and I don't want to fail again so I stick with it. His ex wife is awful to me. He has money, but only finds me attractive if I dress like a slut for him. :-( He wants me to be a prostitute to earn more money. Isn't that sad??? He has hit me only once (broke my nose), but his form of abuse is verbal, definitely. He made me quit my job as a teacher, but threatens to throw me and my three kids on the street all the time.

    I could go on and on. Point is....I think suicide is the way to go. I've finally figured out my method. I can start the car in the garage with it closed. I think that is pretty fool-proof.

    I love my kids, but I honestly think they will be better off without me. I'm a loser.

    I don't even know why I'm posting this.

    I'm so sad.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    First of all, PLEASE don't kill yourself. Your kids would not be better off without you. They'd probably end up with your husband, who may hurt them or throw them out.

    You need to get away from your husband. If you left him, you wouldn't be failing. You'd actually be taking a positive step, something to better your life and the lives of your kids. You don't deserve to be treated that way, and your kids need to see that it's NOT okay for ANYONE to treat their mother that way.

    PLEASE, get away from him!!
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    How can they possible be better without you. You are their only hope of getting away from this abusive ass. Next time he lays his hands on you call the cops and press charges see how far he goes if he is locked up. For now you need to call shelter and get you and your kids out of there now. Do this for your kids as they obviously will be affected from allthis abuse Call homeless shelter now and get out they will give you the connections you need to start being strong and independant again. You are a teacher a profession that is very respected Do not let this go on any longer you are intelligent and know this is wrong please call crisis line even they will come and take you and kids to homeless shelter Time to stop the abuse and get your life and your dignity back.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    so many ppl stay in a troubled marrage because they dont want it to fail. what makes you think it hasnt already at leat for you ? your not happy and its controling you.
    in this situation, yes ... he is controling you. its because of this that you wont allow yourself to get OUT from under his control. there are many ways to solve this problem without killing yourself. you need to get a divorce. the benefit will be for you and your kids. your kids see whats happening.

    its time to stand up for you.
  5. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    your not a loser, guys that hit girls are the losers.
  6. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I'm not going to be a hypocrite. That method has crossed my mind, a lot. But you need to think about your kids. If they lose their mom to suicide, what do you think will happen to them. A friend of mine, his mom commited suicide last year. And guess what? Last feb he commited suicide. It's a never ending cycle.

    For your life to get better. You need to leave him. I was in a controlling relationship too and I got out and I feel so much better. And I wouldn't sell your body or dress like a slut for him. How will your kids feel?

    You are in my thoughts and I hope you keep us updated as to what happens.
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I understand what you mean about the hospital looking bad in your community. That was a huge worry of mine as well. I found out though, that more people were concerned about my safety than about where I had been. I did not go voluntarily. I was picked up at work by the police department and driven the 250 miles to the nearest facility. When there I was told that I had been committed by the courts thanks to my psych and therapist. When I cam e back, the majority of those in the community welcomed me back and asked what they could do to help. My now ex was also very abusive. Please do not stay in this relationship. It is better for both you and the kids to be out of it. You will not be a failure because the marriage did not work out. You will be a winner because you had the courage to escape a volatile situation. One you cannot be expected to stay in. You are in my thoughts. :hug:
  8. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    call a hotline...there are resources right here at SF you can look up.It is time to get out of this abusive relationship.Let us know how you're doing!!
  9. kbp

    kbp Active Member

    Yeah and who are you living your kids with? The fucking asshole that's making you feel that way. This is really selfish thinking right here so I'm going to try to snap you back into reality. YOU HAVE THREE KIDS! Get your job back, go to social services to get additional help with things, go to therapy, and maybe your life will get back on track.

    Good luck.
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to leave the ass!! He has no rights to hit you or belittle you..Try and get your job back or find another one.. Go to social services and apply for help..There is no shame in this.. You pay taxes and that is what they are for..If he lays another hand on you call the police and have him arrested..You don't want to leave your kids with him.. There is no telling what kind of head trips he will instill upon them..Right now you need to muster your courage and do the right thing..Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing..
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