Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Tw1ster, Oct 29, 2009.

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  1. Tw1ster

    Tw1ster New Member

    Hey, im new here. I've been going through a really tough time in my life the past couple weeks. It's not as serious as some of the other posts, but I just feel like I need some kind of advise.

    I am a junior in college, an engineering major. My first two years I kinda of slacked off. I had a great time, made some great friends, but my grades suffered. I have about a 2.5 right now which I am not happy with at all. My entire life, my parents have given me anything I ask for or even desired. When I was around 16, I started feeling guilty for everything my parents ever did for me. I constantly have thoughts about what they could do if I was never even born, and here I am in college wasting $20,000 a year. My parents never told me they were disappointed in me, never told me I wasn't doing good enough, they were always so supportive of me. I got into engineering in high school. I took a few classes more in depth for engineering and decided this is what I want to do with my life. My freshman and sophomore year, I enjoyed the subjects, but struggled in them. I failed my first class that year. I got into drugs a little bit, just smoking some weed every now and then. It got a little worse sophomore year, but i never really felt like it effected my life. I never skipped class to get high, I never missed a homework because I was high, but I know it wasn't doing me any good. I remember sitting in the car with my dad after he took me to a baseball game and lying to his face when he asked me if I got my grades back yet. He knew I was lying and called me out on it, which was when I basically broke down. I cried and appologized, and he told me it was ok, just to change what I was doing and fix my studying habits. I feel like I have, but im still getting bad grades. Now im a junior in college and the work load is more than anything ive ever experienced. I have been busting my ass to get good grades, but theres just not enough time. I accidentally slacked off on one of my classes which was only a half semester. I kept telling myself, oh Ill understand the material tomorrow when I do my homework. Then i'd end up doing the homework in a rush, and not understanding it. I think I might of failed the class. I told my parents and they said its ok. As long as your healthy and ok, thats all we care about. Which made me feel even worse. So over the past 2 weeks, I've slept about 4-5 hours a night because I wake up for class early to study, go to class, get back from class, study, do hw, study, then go to bed. But there just isn't enough time for everyhing. I have a final on friday and I have barely started studying for it. If I fail this test, I think i might do something bad. I hate disappointing my parents, and they just wont tell me that im fucking up.

    Im sorry if all those thoughts were jumbled up, but thats how they are in my head. If someone can relate to me, or piece it together enough to give me some advice, I could really use some help getting through this time. I've been pushing myself just to get through the day. And if its this much struggle to get through one day of life, whats the rest of my life going to be? My parents and sister always tell me "it will all work out in the end". But I don't want to put that much faith in something I have complete control of. I'd rather KNOW that its going to work out in the end.

  2. Kruger613

    Kruger613 Member

    I understand you dude, but honestly, there are a lot worse problems in life.

    Apply yourself, study hard, and you'll be fine.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I had that same problem in school. I didnt' apply myself for the first two years because I REALLY didn't want to be there, and my grades showed it.

    If you happen to fail a course, can you try taking it again, maybe as a summer class or something? Your parents seem really understanding, so maybe if you're honest with them and let them know that you fell behind, but that you want to find a way to catch up, they might understand. But it'd probably be easier to catch up by taking the class over instead of trying to get everything done at one time.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not the only one that gets out on their own and wants to just let loose a bit. It happens college is a time to learn about life and you are learning one of them. Your parents understand this If you need extra help in a subject go to councillors and tell them you need tutoring you need extra time to understand. Don't be too hard on yourself just keep trying and keep being open with your parents. Maybe you need to not take a full course load lighten up a bit of the load by dropping a few subjects and taking them over summer school. take care
  5. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    how r ya
    welcome to SF
    first of all, good luck in your final exam that is on Friday..
    im at college and iam failing this semester...i also was commit suicide in my birthday cos i felt i dont diserve my parants gifts..
    the most important that u r study hard...dont give up..and u'll pass...all the other stuff will be gone when u graduate and feel dont worry so much about that..and everything will be okay
    take care
  6. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    I don't think anyone can promise that it will all work out in the end unless you're just willing to accept that whatever happens is what it is. Then, yeah it always works out.

    I will say that getting bad grades isn't a big deal in the scheme of things, even if you end up failing out of school. I'm sure it can feel that way. But if you are willing to work as hard as you say here, then you'll always be able to take care of yourself. You have skills, and someone will pay you to use them. If you are willing to put them to use 8-12 hours each day, you'll get by just fine. Possibly more than just fine. Don't think there is much of a correlation between grades and monetary success (or happiness?).

    And you have my respect for your work ethic.

    Also, it sounds like you feel you owe something to the world by the way you described your parents paying for school. How are you wasting money if you're working that hard? Your parents want to spend that money. They're doing it for themselves as well as you. I would bet that you are the most important thing in your parents' lives. Point is, you don't come into this world owing anything to anybody, and nothing you do (including accepting favors) can rob you of your freedom.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with the OP.. Keep your study habits going strong.. See a counselor about a tudor..I also have heard that for every hour you study you should get up and take a break to get your mind clear..
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