Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by morgan, Dec 26, 2009.

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  1. morgan

    morgan Well-Known Member

    I can't find the right of a way to end it all.

    I mean, I have a method, but I want to go off somewhere and have all my friends and family think I'm ok. I'm tired of living. Every time I turn around there's another catastrophe to knock me down and I can't handle it. I just can't.

    I'm putting old toys and clothes in boxes, trying to decide who should get my favorite jeans. It's like I'm deciding who deserves the last dregs of my life. I've done so much wrong that it keeps me up at night tossing and turning and sweating in my sheets.

    I'm ugly and I'm awkward and I have no reason for living except the fear of hurting people who love me. I've been systematically pushing them away to make it easier when I go.

  2. mastercon12

    mastercon12 New Member

    Just don't. You obviously have a family that cares about you, and that is a lot to say compared to a lot of people on these forums.
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    true. i have absolutely no one.
  4. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    Im in the same boat as morgan, ecxept its not fear of hurting them that i can deal with its the dissapointment i cant take. I knw its weird, but thus is life. Morgan, i think we are two peas in a pod on this one, i have literally no advice for you cuz i try not to be hypocritical:unsure:
  5. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I am very awkward as well... I find it very hard to even be around people these days because it makes me uncomfortable.
    Ever since I started school- I was told that I was ugly; and I feel ugly on the inside as well.
    The only person who ever called me beautiful has abandoned me.

    It's a hard time, and may take a long time to deal with, but everything has to do with your state of mind.
    If your family loves you- you still have some worth. You just need to get on track and gain confidence...
    It';s always easy to word it like this-- but hard to actually do.
    Please stick around though? There are people out there- *many* people who are in the same boat as you, and you can talk to us.
  6. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel.
    I keep people at a distance now to keep my feelings numb as that will make it easier for me to end my life.
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