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  1. x BrokenBabydoll x

    x BrokenBabydoll x Well-Known Member

    I saw him today, the 'man' who assualted me and tried to rape me. He tried to talk to me and kept winking at me. I dont feel safe outside my own home I cant even go to the shop or anything without having to look over my shoulder. I want to die right now this second, i cant get the memories out of my head i can feel him touching me. I want to cut and cut and cut and drink and overdose and curl up in a ball and just never ever wake up not ever i cant cope with this shit anymore i dont want to have to cope. Please somebody just help please. I dont want to live anymore i cant deal with having to be shitting it every time i leave the house, not ebing able to go out alone, and i cant get him out of my head now id almost managed to push it away but not anymore now its just jammed in my head i cant get it outof my head im scared all i can see uis his face i can feel him touching me,. Im sorryn this is so long im sorry for asking for help but please im begging somebody just help me before i do sdomething im bound to regret. Khlo x
     
  2. SelfMadePrison

    SelfMadePrison Banned Member

    Have you reached out in your community for supports?
    Did you charge this man?
    You have a right to have peace!
    You are right to feel as you feel.
     
  3. x BrokenBabydoll x

    x BrokenBabydoll x Well-Known Member

    I went to the police but even though he was caught on cctv dragging me around the actual attack wasnt on cctv and the police wouldnt even look at the cctv because i was so zombiefied i couldnt remeber the exact date it happened could only give them a 3 day window so basically they wouldnt look at the cctv and there wasnt enough other evidence because i didnt report it until 2 weeks afterwards so there wasnt any medical evidence left to find. Its killing me I genuinely just want to die :sad:
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are so frightened so broken. You need to stay with friends stay with family You reported him thats good the police will keep an eye out for him now. Try to stay busy okay always stay near people never on your own. Report this to your doctor as well so it is documented there Don't go near where he is at all. He will eventually go away if he knows you reported him.
     
  5. x BrokenBabydoll x

    x BrokenBabydoll x Well-Known Member

    Thankyou it means alot, he knows i reported him, they spoke to him just a verbal warning to stay away from me, im trying to stay with people but they keep leaving me on my own, i cant blame them theyve got other things to do but i cant bear to be alone even for a short while at the moment i just cant cope i can see tonight ending in hospital :(
     
  6. SelfMadePrison

    SelfMadePrison Banned Member

    I hope that you take yourself there before you end up their in a drastic state... are there woman shelters in your area? have you contemplated moving?
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HEy if there is a womens shelter they will protect you if not go to hospital now okay sign yourself in that way you will feel safe not so frightened Can you have a friend stay with you for awhile even. He has been warned so hopefully he stays away now.
     
  8. x BrokenBabydoll x

    x BrokenBabydoll x Well-Known Member

    I dont know if there are any womens shelters near me, and i dont feel i can go to the hospital without doing something first, ive never been sectioned or signed myself in and i wouldnt know how to go about it. I went out and bought a load of different pills just now, i feel so tempted to swallow them all. I dont know how much longer i can stop myself doing it im sorry i need help i know i do i really need someone to help me or something anything to help me. I dont know what to do anymore :(
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Pills will only cause more damage to you . Go to hospital and just tell them what happened and that you are feeling like you want to kill yourself. Tell them you need help someone to keep you safe from yourself okay tell them you want to sign yourself in for a few days until you are more emotionally stable that is better than OD and causing you more harm He is not worth harming yourself so just go sign yourself in.
     
  10. x BrokenBabydoll x

    x BrokenBabydoll x Well-Known Member

    I didnt do anything yet. My friend came over last night, we got drunk together and he seemed really happy, then half an hour after i left him he text me saying he'd taken an OD, his mum wouldnt pick up the phone so i phoned an ambulance and hes still in hospital now but i dont understand why he'd only just taken the pills when he text em so they got to him really quickly and i dont know why they didnt just pump his stomach or make him drink charcoal but he's still in hospital on some kind of drip to prevent damage to hsi liver and kidneys or because theres damage i dont know he wasnt really making much sense when i phoned him. Im so scared and worried about him, its enough to put me off because i could never put anyone i love through these feelings. :( doesnt stop me though im trying to convince myself that i wouldnt want my loved ones feeling this way but i still have quite a lot of pills stashed and im still feeling like taking them even though i feel so scared about my friend. I feel crap, im self harming through not eating and dehydrating myself, have had about 800ml of water today but ive been taking laxative overdoses aswell i just want to feel crap on the outside aswell, i want to hurt and cutting just doesnt work for me anymore really. Im such an idiot i know i cant believe im even contemplating OD'ing when he's still in hospital and im this fucking scared for him :'( Khloe xx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 29, 2010
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