Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx, Feb 22, 2010.

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  1. xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx

    xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx Well-Known Member

    how can everything i do hurt people??
    why did it happen to me...??
    i cant take this pain, this guilt, this hurt any more :'(.....
    its all just too much......
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    you came to the right place

    now slow down, take a deep breath

    what's brought you here?

    we all know how this feels, maybe some of us can help you through this

    talk about it if you can

    talk about anything else if you can't

    take your time, just give us a chance to help, okay?
  3. xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx

    xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx Well-Known Member

    its everything, everyone!!
    ITS ME!!!
    all i do is hurt people,
    all i know is pain,
    all i can think of is THEM
    the pain the put me through,
    how it was all my fault,
    she would have been ok if it wasnt for me :'(
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i'm so sorry

    can tell how much you're hurting - kinda in the same place myself

    why do you think you're hurting everyone? can you talk about it?
  5. xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx

    xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx Well-Known Member

    everyone, that knows me gets hurt,
    i spent 1 week with my best m8 and 2 days after i left she tryed to kill herself!!
    my ex: we was going ace and then he pushed me to do something i CANT do (other post will explain) and it freaked me out, so i left and broke his heart
    i hurt my mom everyday with my silence, my self harming, my lack of emotion
    my best m8 frm work: she was soo happy before she met me then i got her out of her abusive relationship and now she h8s me for takin her away frm the one person she ever loved!!!
    I JUST CANT WIN!!! :'(
    HE blames me for all his problems, says if it wasnt for me he would still have a job, still have friends, wouldnt be going to court, he would have people who love him and care for him, says all i do is hurt him, says if i was his friend i would sleep with him :'(
    i can live with this anymore :'(
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    for what it's worth, let me tell you what i see, just read it all the way through, okay?

    if your best mate tried to kill herself, she had something building up long before those last two days - you feel horrible that she tried it and want to blame yourself but think about how long you've been hurting before you started feeling THIS bad

    sometimes people we know want things from us that we just can't give and they either don't understand it or don't care - they just think that if you care you'll do whatever they want because it seems reasonable to them

    a real relationship, even between exes, is still a matter of give and take, compromise - plus no relationship is guaranteed to be pain-free - that's one of the risks of being willing to share anypart of ourselves with someone else

    as for your situation with your mother - i have the same problem with my mother and my wife - i don't want them to know how much i hurt, even if i was willing i just can't find the words to explain it - wish i could help you more with that but i think we're both stuck there for right now

    listen carefully to this one: if you save your friend from work from an abusive relationship you probably saved her life but she can't see that right now - most people who are stuck in those relationships believe that they deserve what they get because they have somehow let down the one they love - its going to take some time and counseling on her part until she starts to realize that love doesn't involve pain and punishment - she still thinks that she loves him

    once she realizes that he was using her love to control her she will come around and that she was in real danger when you helped her get out of there, she should come around

    who's the "he" who is blaming you for all his problems - not sure i understand

    if i have a problem i try to be honest about it - i'm not the kind of person who would burn my mouth on a cup of hot coffee then sue the restaurant - i should have expected the coffee to be hot

    even in my depression, i can't blame anyone for how i react (even my old manager) - i don't even blame the illness, i blame myself for not being able to fight through it at any particular moment

    it's so very easy to blame someone or something else for our problems

    and trying to use that as an excuse to get you into bed - that's just despicable - that's emotional blackmail

    does any of this make sense?

    you have been struck with a series of traumatic events all squeezed into a very short period of time - when that happens each new thing just magnifies all of you negative emotions until you can't even think - wish i couldn't say this but i speak from experience

    take a second for yourself and have a few deep slow breathes, maybe get a cup of hot chocolate, tea, whatever drink you like that helps you relax

    if this helps, that's great

    if you still feel this bad, please call a hotline or crisis center so that you vent to someone realtime

    i'll still be here and so will others

    keep posting - let us know how it's going - we actually do care
  7. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    sweety! please dont do any thing...i need didnt hurt me so you havent hurt everyone. :'(
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