No family alive, adopted by elderly folk who are now dead and i dont miss them they were not the best. Found my blood mum and she died thru the bottle. Horrible divorce and although i do see my kids i miss them so much. No money, the reccsion saw to that and i seem to just hit walls everytime i try to turn around. I live in a place im not from and know hardly anyone but am trapped because i love my kids. When they are with me i am strong, when they are gone i am nothing. Broken sleep and a stomach churning loneliness tears my soul apart, the hours before the sun comes up are the worse and the dark dark thoughts are becoming more real. I want to get a grip but cannot, i hate myself and pity the man i am. AM SO TIRED OF ALL THIS, PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE.