help?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by arimail, Oct 8, 2010.

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  1. arimail

    arimail New Member

    I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything that's happened. Back in 07 my father was discovered cheating on my mother with someone, just a year later my mother passed away. Because of this everything in my life seems to have blown up in my face. My first attempt at a relationship with a woman I still love ended badly, multiple times, she was willing to put up with my crap time and time again. Each time we split it was like another nail in the coffin. Recently we started talking again and my feelings for her haven't changed, but hers for me have. She says she still cares about me, she's even said 'I love you' a few times, but I feel as though I'm pushing her to this, like I'm making her have these feelings for her. I want her to be happy, she's even had a fling with someone else while I've only wallowed in self-pity and lovestruckness for the past few years. While everyone in my family seems to be doing so well with their personal relationship, my sisters have their boyfriends, my father is still seeing the person he cheated on my mom with, while I've destroyed the only meaningful relationship with someone I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. It rips at my heart knowing that she doesn't want the same. And right now I feel like the only way I'll ever be able to feel better about any of this is to just die, to get rid of this heartache, to get out of her life and let her be happy on her own.Thank you for anyone who reads or responds.
     
  2. minion

    minion Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear how things are going. Relationships don't seem to come easy for anyone as of late. More people I know can't make it. Hell I didn't even make the half year mark in my marriage. So more power to you if you can make it work. Just remember for some faults there are two sides. Not everyone is perfect, we take the good and the bad.
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Only advice not intended to add to your pain. I think you are trying to deal with some powerful pain from recent events. What you see as betrayal from your father in his role as just that. Losing your mother. Finding someone to love but not getting the same level of love in return.

    You need to take a break from everything and take a good hard look at you. Have you given yourself time to really grieve the recent losses? Have you really talked to someone (support group, professional) about all that has happened recently? Have you been taking care of your own personal and emotional health? I'm leaning toward the answer being no on most.

    Hun, slow things down a bit. I know you see everyone else as better and moving on. But we all have our demons and we all are capable of hiding them from the world. The forced smiles and small talk. Doing everyday tasks just so others dont see the real person inside. Could you talk to one of your sisters? She may be hurting too. And doing the exact same things you are to hide it. And if she isnt, then maybe she could offer some insight as to how you can move on in a healthy way. Try a grief support group. Or even talk to your GP. But talk. Keep talking until it's all out and you have taken away a little of the power that all the horrible pain has over you :arms:
     
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