I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything that's happened. Back in 07 my father was discovered cheating on my mother with someone, just a year later my mother passed away. Because of this everything in my life seems to have blown up in my face. My first attempt at a relationship with a woman I still love ended badly, multiple times, she was willing to put up with my crap time and time again. Each time we split it was like another nail in the coffin. Recently we started talking again and my feelings for her haven't changed, but hers for me have. She says she still cares about me, she's even said 'I love you' a few times, but I feel as though I'm pushing her to this, like I'm making her have these feelings for her. I want her to be happy, she's even had a fling with someone else while I've only wallowed in self-pity and lovestruckness for the past few years. While everyone in my family seems to be doing so well with their personal relationship, my sisters have their boyfriends, my father is still seeing the person he cheated on my mom with, while I've destroyed the only meaningful relationship with someone I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. It rips at my heart knowing that she doesn't want the same. And right now I feel like the only way I'll ever be able to feel better about any of this is to just die, to get rid of this heartache, to get out of her life and let her be happy on her own.Thank you for anyone who reads or responds.