Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by me myself and i, Dec 8, 2010.

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  1. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Have started to think about methods, first time if im honest with myself.
    The only thing that is truely giving me any strength is disappearing before my very eyes and there is nothing, and i mean nothing i can do about it.
    Again i have had almost no sleep, again as i woke up in a ball in the corner of my bed i could smell him. What i would not give to have another person cuddle me and not go away.
    They always go away, either they just choose to or i push them away myself and in my forties this still keeps on happening.
    With no family alive and no close friends left i know i will not be missed.
    My children tear at my heart but they are not enough to keep my heart afloat and have all they need with their mother and plastic dad.
    All around me is a darkness, i have no future. Christmas looms and i am dreading it, sat alone with only the ache of despair to keep me company.
    Although so many have shown love on here, many have also triggered me in my own selfish thoughts.
    Somethings will never leave me, no matter how strong the meds or how good the words are, im tired of just trying to deal with it, tired of looking ahead at the ever diminishing light that only ever seems to cast shadows on my soul.
    Guilt, despair, lonliness, memories, depression, loss, no money and a heart broken beyond repair, not even the finest love surgeon will ever repair that.
    My time draws near.
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Keep in there now. :)
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your Children will always be there always
    Hold on to them
    their love is not enough for you to stay.
    You heart has been broken you push people away
    STop it okay
    stop pushing them get out and meet new ones and get help for all those negative emotions and replace them with positve one.
    Your depression is deep time to reach out and get help now your thoughts all distorted
    You don't see or feel love all around you only sadness and pain time to take the edge of it then with meds and therapy No it won't go away completely but it will keep you here with your children.
    Don't bring pain to them they don't deserve that.
  4. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Christmas is a particularly shit time isn't it? One way of coping is to volunteer to work with people who have even fewer resources than ourselves - homeless people; elderly people. You will be so busy you won't be able to feel sad and you will probably have fun as well. Give it a go?
  5. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    nomatter how many times it has happened in the past, please dont' assume that every person you meet will go away sooner or later. i wouldn't want to walk into a relationship with that mindset.
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